Yes, people can “put us in a box” but often it is we (yes YOU and I !) that cage ourselves into that prison or cage called “not-good-enoughness.” If we hold the belief that says, “We need to be more…” or “We aren’t good enough to…” or “We could never have…”, that is our doing, not someone else’s. Let’s be responsible! We locked ourselves in that cage (or at least have moments of hanging out in there), and we have the keys to get ourselves out of there and experience life with new “wings” – a.k.a awesome relationships, working in a job that is our passion, feeling fit and fab in our bodies, enjoying hot sex and intimacy and/or feeling creative and successful.
So here are 5 of my own keys that got me out of my cage – some of them might even fit your lock! If they don’t, don’t flutter around in a frenzy. Instead sit still on your perch for a bit and let your inner knowing tell you what will help YOU fly in the way you were born to.
1. Remember what delighted you as a child and reignite that. From a very young age, I did not sit still. I tapped my feet. I loved to dance, and moving and grooving is “in my blood”. When I don’t dance, I feel stifled. I reignite this now by being fully expressed in my body – whether I am exercising, speaking, making love or simply hanging out. What you loved as a child, is intrinsically who you are, so start flying around in those passions again.
2. Remember what your dreams, visions and beliefs for the world were as a child and reignite those. I loved autobiographies of people who made a difference in the world – for those who healed, who served, who offered hope and who inspired others to find ways through their hardships and to step up. I had a natural inclination to be with people who felt different – disabled, old, fragile, poor, disheartened…. I dreamed of traveling and being with people from different cultures. I choose now to live my own autobiography inspiring women in their transformation – from a natural, feminine and spiritual perspective. I continue to travel and always will. What you have dreamed about, envisioned for the world and believed in, you are prepared for. “Be the change” as they say, but you can’t do that from a cage!
3. Find your own rhythm. There have been times in my life where i have been super-busy – sometimes out of what I thought was necessity, but much of it was to “prove” myself to either me or someone else that I was “good-enough”. Nothing wrong with having things in your life. But for me, slowing down and simplifying really feels more like me than when I wore the “superwoman” cape. Achieving loads of stuff in a short amount of time does not necessarily equal “you are good enough.” And remember, the most efficient flying often doesn’t happen by loads of flapping of your wings.
4. Flock together with others who believe wholeheartedly in you and who love you for who you are and who encourage you to be in your total awesomeness. Sometimes this means not allowing certain people to hang out in your flying space. Sometimes it means flocking with new groups of people. Sometimes it might mean migrating to a new house, new flat, new job or a new country even! My motto is, “If I feel light in this company, “flock” (=group of people), or location, I am in the right place.”
5. Good enough-ness is a choice. In any given moment we can choose the thoughts, words and actions that align with good-enoughness or not-good-enoughness with vastly different outcomes. eg. “I am big, fat and ugly and have nothing to wear out tonight. I can’t go out! This choice leaves us talking to our four walls, feeling sad, depressed, lonely and probably hitting the chocolate biscuit container. Versus,” I have clothes that really suit me, my body and my personality. I love that and I can’t wait to see what awaits tonight, who I meet, what I will do and what opportunities open up.” Yeehoooo Our choices in each moment lead to entirely different outcomes. Choose mindfully. But also “carry your body” in a way that embodies that choice.
So take action now. Let me and others know an example of how you have “caged yourself’ in in the past, and share one strategy that has helped you break free of that. Others will love your ideas and wisdom.