Running away from something or someone is not necessarily an act of cowardice. It may in fact be your greatest act of courage.
“My relationship finished and I ended up travelling to the other side of the world. My friends told me I was “running away”.
“I felt like my soul was dying in my marriage, so instead of going to counselling, I told him I was leaving.”
“I worked for 10 years towards creating some kind of success in my self-employment. I’ve tried all sorts of things, nothing really worked that well and I’m about to call it quits.”
I have given up hope in the medical system. I’ve decided I’m not going through with more invasive treatment for my cancer, and I know there’s something else out there better for me.”
“I’ve spent all this money on my training, but do you know what? It just doesn’t feel like me and I’ve decided to go do a different course.”
Any of these sound familiar? Something has come to an end and people’s reactions, and perhaps your own logical point of view, say that you’re running away – as if you have done something wrong, you have no “stickability” or that you are a downright failure!
A woman shared with me recently that her relationship ended and she decided to go travelling to the opposite side of the world. As she landed in this country, she stepped out of the plane and onto the tarmac. Her immediate reaction was she felt like she had “come home”. She had experienced the condemnation of well-meaning people back home that she was running from her recent split and that she was somehow abandoning her post-loss-and-grief “responsibilities” back home. My reaction to her comment when she arrived here feeling so “at home”, was that was she had indeed run towards her soul’s calling of “home” and that she would find what she needed here, not there!
When after numbers of years of marriage I had this internal soul-ache and in fact, soul-death feeling about my marriage, I honoured that ache, and left my husband. His attempts to “mend” the relationship issues by suggesting we go to counselling felt empty to me, for my soul was asking for healing and honouring of its calling, no matter how illogical and unreasonable it felt to break apart a family with six children and no matter how logical it felt to get some “tangible” help. It was in the healing once I had honoured that decision when I received very clear images of why I had been put in that marriage and why I had left. My role had been completed – having taken on my husband’s three children following the death of his first wife, having been visited by her in spirit asking me to “take her girls on as my own”, having birthed another three children together and with the older girls having become independent women. I was put in that marriage to bring those three oldest girls into adulthood following the death of their mum, more than be “partner” to my husband. (Mother rather than lover, I called it!) My subsequent grief from my broken marriage was healed by knowing I had done my role and I had done it well and to completion. The next part of my soul and ‘going solo’ journey was to begin a new chapter for me and the remaining three children (and the chance of a new lover, more than mother relationship!)
For those of you who have been through training or worked towards a career or self-employment path and feel like it’s coming or has come to an end – whether by choice or not – leaving it is not necessarily “running away”. It may well be the final straw that is required for you to really find your passion, a new niche or find a better means of contributing to the world and to make your mark. No “apprenticeship” is ever wasted. Your inner desire to leave is probably your important direction post!
For those of you who have been struggling with unwellness and feel there are other means of “treating” your health, this is not “running away.” It may be your body’s inherent wisdom and the calling of your soul to “venture towards” other alternative avenues – ones that will open up very different possibilities and opportunities to you.
Running away is not always cowardice. In my experience, such an act can be the most courageous feat you have ever done and such an act of honouring your internal calling rather than blindly following what the external world thinks you should do.
For those of you who have come to an end of something – be that friendships, family relationships, commitments to clubs or organisations, or whatever, ask yourself “is this a cowardice running away?” or is this a courageous running towards something for your greater good and that of others? I choose to focus on the second, because it helps relieve the grief that naturally occurs with stopping, ending, dying, relinquishing, transitioning, changing or leaving behind something or someone…and it helps me gain from the benefits of honouring that inner calling, whisper or shout that says “Run!” “It’s OK and you’ll be OK!”