We are being told to embrace our womanly curves, but when it comes to emotions, we are expected to be constant – or I call it a “straight line” or perhaps a better word is “flat-lined”.
Our partners may get confronted by our curvy emotional ups and downs and our kids may not understand us when we swing from the chandalier of occasional mood outbursts. (usually pre-empted by dampening our emotions or personal needs, ignoring them or blocking their expression!) Our workplace reminds us to “keep everything together” and get on with the job at hand and society tells us to dampen our “curvy” menstrual cycle (yes it’s a cycle, not a straight line!) with contraceptives, medical treatments or other means to get rid of the “problem”.
Why would we deny us and our lives of our curves and cycles? How boring is life when we are flat-lined? What would joy look like if we hadn’t experienced the enormity of grief and change? What would happen to our relationships should we stay on “mediocre heat” rather than burn with a little passion and teeter in a little non-passion now and then? And I know for sure, that many women’s health complaints – particularly related to fertility, menopause, depression, unhappiness, exhaustion….and the list goes on – there is often an imbalance created by trying to be constantly driving, striving, achieving, in control and all with a constant smile on our face, even when we are quietly seething underneath, feeling less than productive, less than successful or with no juice in the tank.
Take nature, for example. We enjoy summer even more following a cold winter. We can’t go surfing if there is only an in-rush of the tide and not an out-going one. We have a day and a night for a reason. One to get us out there “making hay while the sun shines” and another to not be so out there, unless of course you’re doing a great night out dancing or celebrating!
Our menstrual cycle is in two phases too. And by crikey, why are we not listening to this gorgeous natural guidance? After our period, it’s time to get out there, meet people and get things done.(very oestrogen dominant – in my mind the more masculine of the two key hormones oestrogen and progesterone.) The second phase is after ovulation (your fertile time) and this phase offers you the time to go back into the “nest” a little, be a little less giving to others and more receptive ourselves and it’s the time to really take notice of those heightened, and some might say out of control emotions! They may feel out of control, but jeepers they are giving you such clarity about what is and isn’t going well in your life. What better life coach can you get? Take notice of what those emotions are saying for you to act upon, let go of, start, finish or heal…and they will come up less next time round to “bite you in the bum,” and life will feel a whole lot happier when you use those monthly wake-up calls to guide you into what to do/not do. And for many women, their PMT, menstrual, menopausal and women’s health issues also start to wane.
So 4 more observations I have had lately about emotional curves.
- If we are someone with really high and low emotions and we are in partnership with someone who is flat-lined, we don’t often “meet” / connect. Food for thought.
- High and low emotional states need not be scary, if you reframe them as a great guidance system.
- Emotions get let out/expressed somehow even if you are a flat-liner. Non-expression of emotions is like shaking up a bottle of coke and not taking the lid off. One day it will spew over everyone, or otherwise stay under wraps by being dampened down by some mind-numbing, body-numbing and probably soul-numbing substance or activity.
- People don’t spend enough time in the heightened and very natural emotions of joy, exhilaration, burning passion, ecstasy, desire, pride…
So here’s to embracing my curves! And you?