admin | Dynamic People Engager

Sep 15

0

Got a secret that needs sharing?

By admin | Uncategorized, Written Articles | No Comments

When we “keep a secret”, it sits within us. There are many things that can happen with this “secret”. We stuff it down with food or other substances. It weighs us down – figuratively but also sometimes literally. The secret can fester, ulcerate, spread, encapsulate, close off a body function and cause a lot of un-wellness and unhappiness within. It can also stop us in our tracks and life becomes yet another day that looks the same as yesterday. We remain stagnant, perhaps even feeling paralysed in our situation. We want to move forward. We want better things, but we are stuck. Nothing seems to change. Let’s consider this.
• What is endometriosis? Is it also an emotional scarring?
• What is infertility? Is it a closing-down of your sexuality when you have been hurt?
• What is anorexia? Is it hiding within your body and feeling insignificant?
• What is bulimia or overeating? Is it the stuffing down of pain or trauma?
• What is a tumour, cyst, growth? Is it a collection of pent-up angst, anger, betrayal….?
• What is miscarriage? Is there a sense of not deserving or a pattern of abandonment?
• What is sexual “frigidity”? Is it that we are frozen in the abuse of the past?
• What is a headache? Is it that we no longer want to face the “headaches” of the world?
• What is an infection, outbreak or melt down? Is it a secret festering within us?
• What is lack of confidence, courage or self-esteem? There is probably a secret underneath.

As women, we go through many changes, transitions, grief, trauma, losses and challenges in our lives. We have also been taught to put on our mask of confidence or “got it together-ness”, which sometimes means we don’t share our “secrets” or our vulnerability. The sharing of our secrets is not about becoming “victim” or reliving old stuff. It is sometimes not the “WHAT” of what happened, but the story we have made up about ourselves, our bodies, our life or our potential for better things. It is about letting go of the secret’s attachment, its tendrils, its roots, its spread…within our body and within our energetic field. Sharing the secret is about letting go, releasing, cleaning up, lightening up and living more freely in all aspects of our lives and finally allowing better and brighter experiences into our lives. Sit quietly and ask what your soul is telling you in terms of…
1. …what secret(s) to share. – No “secret” is too small or insignificant, too big or overpowering. This secret is often about a feeling of shame, humiliation, betrayal, abuse, trauma, bullying, disappointment, embarrassment…often related to our identity, our trust in ourselves and our bodies or in our sense of self-esteem, confidence and self-worth.
2. …where does the secret sit in your body?
3. …who to share it with. – This could be someone who is alive, or someone in soul.
4. …how? Sit intuitively and feel into the “HOW” you will share your secret.

Why don’t you write down all of your “secrets” that come into your awareness? Put them on individual pieces of paper and find a box to keep them in as a symbol of where you have kept them hiding to date. As you reveal or share each secret over the coming days, weeks, years…throw away or burn the paper and find a lovely ritual to unleash yourself from how that secret has had a hold on you.
Share your secret in a sacred way Rituals are a lovely sacred way to share your secret and to allow healing. Here are a few examples particularly focused on sharing your secret through body rituals.
• Body exfoliation / scrub / all over pamper
• Gentle massage of a particular part of your body that feels “impacted”
• Images / drawings/words on your body then rubbing off the “old stuff”
• Breathe out the secret and breathe in new love
• Release the secret down the plughole of the shower as you cleanse your body
• Punching bag
• Strenuous exercise
• Swim in the ocean “washing” off the secret
• Singing the secret or shouting it off a mountain, rooftop or somewhere that is important
• Walk in nature leaving the “trail of the secret” behind
• Sit at someone’s grave and talk to them
• Throw away some clothes that represent the “old story” and replace them with new ones
• Write the secret in the sand and then watch the waves wash over it
• Detox – perhaps with juices, non-alcohol days…
• Sunbathe naked quietly revealing layers of pain, shame and vulnerability and soak in the “warm sun of love”
• Sit in stillness with a candle and then blow out the candle signifying the end of that secret or old story about yourself
• Dance out the secret
• Feminine flush – this is a ritual where you energetically cut the cords to people, events, relationships…and ask for there to be an energetic flushing out of your body through its natural means
• Use pads instead of tampons this month as you menstruate
• Enjoy the smell of incense or “smudging stick” to clear the air of the environment you wish to clear
• Create other body or sacred rituals of your own
Go well as you share your secret in your own sacred way. And remember I am here for you if you would like to “share” your secret and experience the cutting loose of its hold, so you can fly again! And why don’t you also contact me with some of your own wisdom and rituals about “sharing the secret” that we can on-pass to other women? Let’s support each other in our healing, health and happiness. www.janellefletcher.com

Sep 08

0

Are you superwoman doing WE time, more than ME time?

By admin | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

Imagine if having “me time” were the “cure-all” for your health, women’s issues, sanity, family life, relationships and even your career. In fact, the more I think about this notion, the more excited I am about that “cure-all” possibility!

The problem is many women struggle with taking “me time” because they consider it selfish, the kids or family needs are “more important”, they would feel embarrassed or uncomfortable saying that they had some time off rather than basking in the admiration of others for being “really busy,” or they are simply ingrained in the habit of prioritising work or “other jobs” before “a life”. Here are a few “me time” thoughts, which for me too are a new concept having played, and sometimes still do, superwoman doing WE time, more than ME time.

Our physical energy is being stretched more and more. “Me time” will re-energise you!
Resentment and regret are two key emotions that women feel when playing “super-woman”. We are not fun to be around when we are in these emotional states! And if we hide these emotions (which we often do!) this starts to show up in other ways. eg. relationship tension, family disharmony, depression, lack of creativity…
Intimacy within a partnership requires two people to “turn up”. “Me time” allows you to be more fully present and desiring such warmth, affection and sex, rather than running for cover to “catch your breath” on life.
We aren’t doing our kids (and others) a favour when we “spoil them” or “drop everything” and attend to their situation now as if it were an emergency. When we took on being a mother, lover or girl-Friday, we didn’t sign an agreement that says we forsake all! Sometimes we just simply have to say “no” and put a zip on our mouths!
We complain that others are “taking us for granted” or asking too much of us, or that we constantly feel tired or have no time for ourselves. We, in fact, teach others how to treat us. When we continue to put others’ needs first, that becomes the norm. Change this norm to honouring YOUR time and YOUR needs, as much as you do theirs. You will be a much better parent, lover, worker…
Selfish is not the same as self-giving. Self-giving honours everyone.
Women’s health issues come from not honouring the natural curves and fluctuations of our menstrual cycle, which teaches us there are times to be out there doing, creating, socialising or being active in a cause, versus the second part of our cycle which asks us to rest more, recover, re-breathe, re-vitalise, re-store, re-generate and be more emotional! Both can be “me time”, but they must be in balance.
Many women go on a retreat once a year or do the “odd pamper day with the girlfriends” now and then. This is not “me time.” “Me time”, needs to be a way of living, much like we learn in our someBODY BEAUTIFUL way of living retreat.

So today I take a leaf out of my partner’s book – a man who is teaching me to honour me, my needs and my time more fully. On his t-shirt it says this. “I give 110% everyday. 10% to others. 100% to myself.”

Which of the above points did you most like or relate to? Leave your valuable comment below.

Aug 31

0

The beauty of “break-outs” & “melt-downs” in your body

By admin | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

Breaking out in rashes, pimples or other irritations, fire-ing up inside with menopausal symptoms, itching, diarrhoea-ing, redness, throbbing, vomiting…or perhaps having a melt-down with other explosive body symptoms? What is your body doing that screams “outbreak”, “I’ve had enough”, or “I don’t like this situation any longer”?

Most people are ingrained into the thinking that such physical “outbreaks” are bad and should be medicated, treated, covered up and generally not tolerated.

Yes these “symptoms”, as a doctor or health practitioner would describe them, can be fairly annoying. How about we see them as simply telling us a “story” and a reminder of what is no longer in balance in our lives and body, what situation is no longer satisfactory, or even what simply needs clearing – and therefore be grateful for that reminder and allow it to be.

* Outbreaks generally have an underlying emotion. What is that emotion when you sit quietly with what is occurring within your body? Anger? Annoyance? Betrayal? Discontentment? Lack of creativity? How can you positively use that emotion to change your situation?

* What is the story, or belief, you are telling yourself about the situation that springs to mind or the person who comes into your awareness? Perhaps that story is not the “truth” and you need to rewrite it.

* The beauty is that we can actually allow that situation, emotion, reaction to a person or “outbreak / melt-down” experience to be cleared through the natural functions of our body – breathing, perspiration, menstruation, elimination…and then be grateful for what toxic stuff our body is releasing and the new space it is creating for good things to come into our lives. Learn to also love menstruation, our cyclical nature and menopause because they naturally help us “burn off” what is no longer needed, and “grow” stuff we do desire.

* Begin to “soothe” your body with more soul-nourishing activities, people, occasions, body rituals, music, nature, movement, prayer, pampering… We often focus on what is “wrong” in our bodies, so begin the practice of noticing when that “outbreak” is calmed and what has created that quieter, happier and more contented space, and practice more of that!

And with today being the first day of spring in the Southern Hemisphere, may our bodies be “spring cleaned”, soothed and re-vitalised, and in the Northern Hemisphere, may there be a shedding of what is no longer needed or wanted.”

Aug 25

0

Stop holding your breath for something “better” in your life

By admin | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

I’ll catch my breath, when I finally get that stuff sorted.” was what I heard the woman say. My response was how about she “breathe first, then the things will get sorted?” As woman, we are so busy charging around, madly busy, trying to sort out things in life, as if A + B = C. We try and work out a solution, a way, or something that will at least help us towards our desired state of happiness, health, relationship, family relations, work or whatever. We micro-manage, and in the meantime we literally forget to breathe and “smell the roses” and we miss our chance of life sign-posting us and making our life easier -sans le stress. (without the stress)

Holding our breath for something better down the track,

we miss or ignore the good things that are happening already. We let the already good things happening in our life pass us by. In fact we are blind to them. How about seeing your life, as it is today, as “good” (or perhaps even great) already?
keeps us “doing stuff on our own” as if we alone can change the world and “control” our situation. The reality is when we still ourselves and breathe and follow the lead of signs and synchronicities, our “stuff” is managed effectively for us! We are also not alone, when we let the stillness of our soul lead us. We are accompanied in life!
we set ourselves up for un-wellness. When we do not breathe well, we get headaches, lethargy, panic, stress symptoms and loads of other maladies. Breathing well from a still, quiet space could, I believe, create healing miracles in your health – not just because of the physical benefits, but because of the soul/spiritual benefits.
we deny our intuition to “flow”. Another word for “to breathe” is to inspire – literally and figuratively. Our intuition is literally inspiration for how to live life very easily, almost without effort. If we followed this, versus the bending and manouvering of our mind, we would already be in a far “better” situation in our life without the need to worry.
stops us from realising how amazing we are already and I like the words of Sylvia Plath from the Bell Jar – “I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.”

Living a full-breathed, intuitive, inspired life can make your life “great” now. Start consciously breathing again. Take time each day to be still. Let peace be in your life, from the inspiration of breath. www.janellefletcher.com

Aug 21

0

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who is the fairest of us all?

By admin | body love & body image, health & well-being, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

Many women have a distorted image of who they think they are, how their bodies are and what their life’s challenges look like. Perhaps, as a woman, YOU are looking in mirrors such as these.

The magnified mirror is where you see every blemish, scar, pimple, bulge…as something far huger than the reality. You see life’s problems as insurmountable. You view the size of your body in unreal proportions. Your language is something like this. “I am too ugly, too fat, too unhealthy, too old or too whatever…”

The minimised mirror is where you feel invisible, unnoticed, and not enough. It’s the epitomy of the Tall poppy sydrome where women dare not “upsell” themselves. Words like “I am just…..” come out of your mouth with ease. eg. I am just a mother. I am just the wife of…..” Alongside of that comes the “not” word followed by “enough”. “I am not talented enough. I don’t have enough money. My boobs are not big enough”, and on it goes. You give your power away to others because you don’t feel empowered or confident enough to take on the responsibility.

Then there is the comparison mirror – or what I call the somebody else’s mirror. This is where you compare yourself – your talents, skills, body, life….with others. It’s where you “maximise” others and “minimise” yourself. You compare yourself, your body and your life to what the media tells you is “ideal”.

And how about the broken mirror where your life reflects the distorted story or mirror that says you are “broken” from trauma, grief, loss, shame and other events such as abuse of any kind, molestation, down-putting… It is easy to stay victim whilst looking in this mirror. It is easy to feel unable to to change the situation. It is easy to feel depressed, paralysed (or at least stuck) in your situation. It is easy to fear what it would take to be a confident, passionate and beautiful women, because that would require different things of you.

So yes, it’s time ladies that we stop looking at distorted images of ourselves, and start looking at ones that truly reflect back our truest nature – that we are gorgeous, talented and in fact brilliant as the beautiful Marianne Williamson and Nelson Mandela have quoted. “Who am I to be brilliant? Who am I not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world…”

So here are just a few ways to see a truer reflection of who you truly are.

Start approving of yourself, rather than trying to prove yourself constantly. Just be you, with who you are today.
Have a point of difference (POD) by honouring your unique life lessons, inner gifts, values, skills, beauty…rather than trying to be a clone (pea in a POD) of someone else or someone’s version of who they think you should be.
Use only self-honouring words.
Get to the core of the “story” you have created about yourself. Unravel the “what happened” and “what did I make that mean about me, my body and my life?” Stick to the facts, and not necessarily the story you created. Rewrite that story if it is not self-loving.
Practice body gratitude by finding things to be grateful to your body for, including the way it has healed, recuperated, detoxed, grown, recovered and re-energised…itself.
Look at your internal treasures, not your external measures. eg. numbers on the scale, in your pay packet or numbers of “world experiences” you have had. Mirrors only see the outside. Focus on the treasures within and who you are as a “whole person”. Your rriends and family will be talking about who you are at your funeral, not the size of your waistline, pay packet or numbers of whatever you think might make you more desirable, liked or successful.
See a source perspective of how marvellous, beautiful and successful you really are. This is Spirit, God, the universe, your inner marvellousness or perhaps someone in soul / spirit (passed on) who thought you were the “bees knees” and who has faith that you can surmount any “obstacle” in life and have a richer, more fulfilling life than what you are presently experiencing.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the fairest of us all?”

We all are, but you will only get this by looking at the correct reflection of who you are. The unexpected joy of this is when your life starts reflecting that new image of you, more positive things begin to appear in your life.