manifesting & abundance | Dynamic People Engager

May 24

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Is “Get Shit Done” (GSD) the modern day woman’s disease?

By admin | health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, Uncategorized, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

This week I felt my skin tighten, my hands go up in despair and my heart wrench again as I read an article from yet another “up and coming modern day woman” who is putting out a new online programme about getting shit done (GSD) and flagging the “emotional stuff”.

GSD is becoming a sought after disease in my eyes and it ignores the inherent nature of who we are in our feminine, and it also negates the positives of emotional expression, inner self worth and also the need or desire for a softer way of living life.

Ladies, from years of playing superwoman and becoming a burnt-out, unwell superwoman for a time, I now know we don’t always have to do, do, do. There is another way to feel successful without a tick-off list. And how many of us women cry for a rest or retreat but keep going – fighting the feminine who is crying out for more pleasure and less pain, more rest and less stress and more ease and less disease in our mind and in our spirit?

The feminine is “curves” – not just ploughing the straight lines of a field day in and day out, not just keeping the stiff upper lip while you are a blithering mess and not simply pleasing or appeasing others with your “brilliant efforts”, while ignoring your own self-care or natural ebb and flow of emotions.

And how about this?

Imagine telling your teenage daughter when her relationship breaks up “Don’t worry darling, just get over it and get on with finding the next boyfriend” instead of allowing her to feel sad, pine and get the comfort and support she desires from you.
It also doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that suppressed emotions don’t stay suppressed forever. Ignoring them, by getting on with life and ploughing on is not helpful. One day emotions will show their head in unwellness, in a massive tantrum, life crisis or some other guise.
And GSD, I believe, is another from of escapism – much like being attached at the hip to your phone or social media posts. We lose sight of the real world, and we lose our connection and deeper intimacy with people we actually used to, or presently claim to care about because we are simply too busy GSD’ing.
And what’s more is that GSD is a masculine way of measuring our success. We think we have to get stuff done, ticked off and accomplished in a time-frame and manner that warrants approval from yourself or others. The feminine in us knows, from a deep inner space, that self approval is the biggest measure of success whether we are doing loads, or doing nothing, whether we are looking our best or not, and whether we look like we “have it sorted” or whether we are fumbling around for awhile. And actually, why do we have to build an empire right here, right now when other things may be more important, more pressing or more up your alley in terms of what you actually value?
And GSD – helps us block out the pain of change, grief or transition – where the actual gold is. How many women do you know who have had cancer, to then finally have the “aha” moment that there is more to life than business, GSD, success in the material world and being the next “biggest and brightest woman” offering the planet something. Sometimes, success is in the simple.

Food for thought ladies. Here’s to doing less, so we can have more.

Hey gorgeous, I would love you to send me what this post has sparked within you by sending me an email at janelle@janellefletcher.com or by posting a comment at the somebody beautiful facebook community.

And if you love this blog wisdom, why not share it with a friend using the social media links below?

And if you haven’t already, go to www.somebodybeautiful.com and get on my mailing list to update you with more goodness and help you flourish more in self-love, body-honouring and reviving your feminine spirit. There are also some great free resources on this website, upcoming events, coaching/healing options and updates on my up-coming book – Dancing in her own Full Moonlight – the ebb and flow of being fully woman. See you there!

Janelle Fletcher www.janellefletcher.com

Mar 21

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How to feel inspired when you feel darn tired!

By admin | health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, spirituality, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

Flicking this morning through the gorgeous book by Dawna Markova, “I will not die an unlived life” which I used years ago in a women’s group I ran, I was re-inspired when actually feeling darn tired!

How am I tired? And how are you tired?

Well for me, most people see me with bundles of energy, vibrant, vivacious, effervescent and someone who can speak with anyone, “up” the energy in a crowd and inspire people to live a less weathered and less busy life. And yes I am a natural at that, and also good at pulling off the “I’ve got loads of energy” trick!

Truth is, I am very tired. Nigh on 50, I have not had a decent night’s uninterrupted sleep for years and my body is exhausted, and it takes up a huge part of my reserves to even muster up physical or mental energy to create anything. It is a wonder I do! At times I feel heavy in my spirit, with the occasional glimmer of light and lightness. This is frustrating, because I live a spirit-guided life, trusting that my path gets revealed, rather than me spending too much time trying to work it all out. Such a way of living is often a patience game, and that game, truth be known, is wearing a little thin. At times I get inspiration and create – much like my recent book I wrote in just 30 days, or when I put on a women’s event that everyone raves about. Other times, if you saw me in my quiet, secret place away from the world, you would realize I spend more time than most in bed wondering what my next step is, why am I still doing a lot of stuff feeling alone and unsupported and why my best efforts, talents and service often still remain unrecognized or taken for granted, leaving me feel even more depleted. But serving others and always putting others up the priority list also zaps me of my own pizazz on occasions.

Actually nowadays I lead a much simpler life after years of caring for my big family, but I am still feeling tired – physically, mentally and soulfully. Yes I am also perimenopausal, and that is beginning to show itself in the feeling that I have of now “re-birthing” myself and my own soul needs, versus the years I have looked after many others’ needs. But this too is a tiring transformation process with its ups, downs, swings and roundabouts.

Today I also know when aligned with Spirit, life is not all roses. It is often bloody difficult as we are called to live a life of trusting and surrendering to the will of Spirit that sometimes takes us to “places and spaces” which may give us that “wobbly feeling” even though we know it is best for us to step into that place and space – whether that be the beginning or ending of life location, vocation or love-relation!

So how did Dawna Markova’s book today inspire me? Well I flicked randomly through it asking for the page to be revealed that would help me today. Without going into the story Dawna told, it reminded me of the joy that fills me when I do random acts of kindness that so easily and effortlessly come from my inner being. To befriend someone who feels lonely or different and let them know they are gorgeous and loved, brings me to tears. To do a simple act that makes someone’s life that much easier or grief less, I notice a “less tired” me! To speak with a random stranger in a bar of cafe and invite them to feel less anxious by connecting with someone in Spirit is my norm, and to see them physically relax into themselves and their current situation with less angst lifts my spirit too. To travel and experience new cultural delights and see the human spirit from an angle that is not my own, is refreshing. I have wander-lust indeed.

But I realize too that this can not come easily from the place where I often sit within my four walls or in the surrounding of my duvet. It will also not come from denying these simple acts I love doing and instead committing to a dead-end 9-5 pm job again under someone else’s jurisdiction. This kills my spirit and always will! My energy will not come from continuing to serve others before myself. It will also not come from doing the same as I have tried for many years in my business.

Dawna Markova’s book is called “I will not die an unlived life”. Intuitively it feels like I don’t need to exhaust myself adding better stuff to my life now to finally say on my death-bed, “That was flippin’ fantastic”. I need to die to my life that is right now, to abandon my past ideas of what my business and life could look like, and to start afresh. And that kind of change actually doesn’t scare me funnily enough, as I enjoy plunging into the unknown! I will keep you posted!

Hey gorgeous, I would love you to send me what this post has sparked within you by sending me an email at janelle@janellefletcher.com or by posting a comment at the somebody beautiful facebook community.

And if you love this blog wisdom, why not share it with a friend using the social media links below?

And if you haven’t already, go to www.somebodybeautiful.com and get on my mailing list to update you with more goodness and help you flourish more in self-love, body-honouring and reviving your feminine spirit. There are also some great free resources on this website, upcoming events, coaching/healing options and updates on my up-coming book – Dancing in her own Full Moonlight – the ebb and flow of being fully woman. See you there!

Janelle Fletcher www.janellefletcher.com

Feb 28

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Where has all my female-ness gone? Unleash your “wild” thing!

By admin | health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

Where have all the flowers gone? A song from way-back just popped into my head as I wondered what muse would flow out of me today? In fact I don’t even know if I was a twinkling in my mum’s eye when that song came out, but I can certainly remember the melody. What springs forth from that little ditty (profound and political however!), came the question, “Where has all my female-ness gone?”

I ask myself, what brought that odd question on? Well, I’ve been doing this writing experience – in fact I’m smack back in the middle of it – and it’s called Re-Wilding. It’s really all about getting back the “wild”, the “fiery”, the “inappropriate” and “range of emotions” ME back again.

Because ladies, we have learned to tame ourselves. We want more pleasure, but we deny ourselves of it by distancing or distracting ourselves. We would love to vent what’s really hot and fiery inside, but we “behave ourselves” for fear of offending someone. We would love to be “given to”, have “me time” or indulge in some free time, but we think we have to act all super-man-ish doing everything ourselves and there’s no way we could enjoy some “frivolous” time having more fun.

It’s also much deeper than that. It’s what has lead us to feel misplaced in such a patriarchal world where we have lost ourselves, or can no longer find that deep, intuitive, impulsive, feeling, wild-woman healer within us. We listen to the media – I call it the external media – rather than our inner journalist for solutions to our day-to-day life and its myriad of challenges. We focus on work and getting ahead, versus serving and offering our inner gifts of presence, compassion and love for life. We fit things around a tight schedule, versus aligning with our monthly and seasonal rhythms, succumbing to the beat of someone else’s drum and not our own natural pace. We spend time within our home and work environment far more than in the natural elements. Our feelings of inadequacy are masked and “under-wraps” to keep up with the Jones’ family or to appear as good as Mrs Entrepreneur or another “amazing mum” when really we are feeling exhausted, under the weather and possibly quite soul-discontented.

The masculine and the patriarchy squashes us. The feminine expands us. The masculine tames us. The feminine tempts and teases us playfully. And the masculine freezes us. The feminine feels. She is feisty. She is honest. She is indulgent. She is receptive. She is wild. She loves to dance and have pleasures. She yearns to be unleashed.

So what have I personally noticed during this phase of Re-Wilding? I have learned that I often avoid the darkness, depths and the dive-down deep moments, in favour of hoping life can simply be easier and better without me doing anything, or preferring to “stay positive” with all of my self-help strategies. I have opted for staying relatively quiet and “good-girly” when it comes to my family dynamics even though I know I could change things by bravely speaking out even if they ostracized me further. I have tamed my movement, my sexuality and my vitality doing monotony, routine and stuff that kills my spirit, rather than makes my soul sing. I have allowed my creative spirit to be dampened and put on the back-burner by prioritizing others over myself. I have also largely been “in control” of my life (and people), but I am soooooo (and might I add an extra “o”) learning that I have no control over it/them really, and I would be better off surrendering and “letting go”. Ladies, we talk about that, but do we really do it?

So today I have no answers, no tips and no advice. For that really is the masculine.

I just however invite you, woman to woman, to share one of your “life stories” that is full of emotion and express that story somehow in poetry, song, on top of a mountain top, with a sage stick in hand, or even howling to the moon. The wild woman in you wants to become unharnessed, unsilenced and finally given permission to be less than “appropriate”.

If you love this blog wisdom, why not share it with a friend?

And how about also sharing your “story” here or at our somebody beautiful facebook community?

And if you haven’t already, go to www.somebodybeautiful.com and get on my mailing list to update you with more goodness and help you flourish more in self-love, body-honouring and reviving your feminine spirit. There are also some great free resources on this website, upcoming events, coaching/healing options and updates on my up-coming book – Dancing in her own Full Moonlight – the ebb and flow of being fully woman. See you there!

Janelle Fletcher

May 10

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With heartaches & pain, is acceptance or change easier?

By admin | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, spirituality, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

My partner, the other night, came out with something profound. “Sometimes it’s easier to change, than accept the situation.”

Referring to the situation where his wife left him suddenly for another man and the devastating pain he went through afterwards and the subsequent time and healing that has occurred and is still ocurring, he came out with this gem.

Being a Taurus, he’s a change-maker. He sees something that needs done or that needs “fixing” and he’s off like a bull at a gate. Being more of a doer, and less of a sentimental, “fall into a heap type” person, this profound revelation is very much him. For you it might not seem quite that easy, but I do think there’s some gold in here for all of us.

Somethings we cannot easily accept a situation, but we can take even the “incy-wincy” steps to change something and that very step may, in fact, be easier. How about these examples.

You feel fat, and perhaps you are indeed a little on the “porky” side.

Not accepting that “fact” means you might stay in constant angst, keep up the self-belittling, be in pain, deny yourself of going out and doing what you want to do, exhaust your mental energy…(and the list goes on!) when in fact a small focus on change might be more productive and more satisfying. A simple walk, a glass of nourishing smoothie rather than a piece of cake, a change in belief, a phone call with a mentor or a new yoga class that would fill your soul might be better.

Your man/partner/lover has just left you or you’re about to throw in the towel on a relationship.

Feeling and knowing your soul’s yearning for love, it might indeed by difficult to accept the fact that your partner has gone (and “done what he’s done!” I can hear you saying!) or to accept that despite the logistics or reasons for staying in the relationship, you know your soul is calling you to end it. Difficult to accept? Yes. But change might in fact be easier. That step of change might be, for you, surrounding yourself with some positive friends, upping your self-care and self love rituals, honouring the good, bad and uglies of the relationship and forgiving your self first and foremost for a part you may have played in the situation. Initiating change starts with “I’, not “H” for him!

You have been through some body change or transition. eg. mastectomy, losing your hair, disability, changing body function, menopausal changes, aging… For a women, her body is her temple, and for the temple to change, this can often feel like a sobering and very deep and even sacred scarring. Yes, by all means grieve for what has been. Yes by all means, find new ways of loving and appreciating who you are and what you do have. And yes, be in gratitude for the amazing way your body adapts to it its changing nature or function. These are all steps of change in fact, which may one day allow gradual acceptance to shine through those difficult day moments of darkness.

The word change, intrinsically, holds the “charge” or energy of shift, movement, and a state of flux or even imbalance. But maybe you’re afraid of change, and therefore just go into “accepting mode” or perhaps more aptly put “victim mode” or “I’ll lay the blame on someone or something else for the way my life looks”. This acceptance of what has been an intolerable or perhaps a purely unpleasant situation without taking some proactive steps to climb out of “what was” to “what can be” can be damn difficult, debilitating or damaging to your spirit.

What are you choosing? Acceptance or change?

Apr 29

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How to meet (or leave!) your soul mate! (Part One!)

By admin | manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

I have this uncanny ability to meet soul mates. In fact I’ve met 2, perhaps even 4! But let me start with No. 1!

The day I met my first husband, I knew that I was going to marry him. Not because I was attracted to him physically or sexually, but he oozed a calmness considering his wife had just been killed and he was a beautiful dad to his 3 girls. And that first night at the Paul McCartney concert when I met him, the sky literally opened up with diamonds in the final song. “It’s him!” I heard. Weird but true. We got engaged 6 weeks later and married after 6 months.

Lesson No 1. You may not necessarily be initially attracted to your soul mate, but something within you says “YES”.

After just a few weeks of meeting my soon to be husband, his wife who had died visited me in spirit. Yes my first ever experience of that! She talked to me. I heard her well as she invited me to take on her children as my own. This felt right in my heart, so I honoured that.

Lesson No 2. You may hear something from the “divine” realm that says that you are to be with this person. The “Divine” brings messages in many ways. Perhaps you have seen this person before, noticed his name, seen a picture of him somewhere or even in a dream, or something that they say “rings a bell” or evokes a memory in you…

After a beautiful partnership and bringing 3 more children into the world, my soul started dying and I knew I had to honour that. My mind said, “Stay in the marriage” and “I can’t possible do this to my 6 kids”, but my soul knew otherwise. I left my soul mate after 14 years of marriage because I could no longer be “soul-dead”, nor could I inflict my low energy, lack of love and intimacy and such unfairness on my husband.

Lesson 3. We can also care about someone but still leave that soul mate partnership, because we care about ourselves AND them! Sometimes leaving is actually an act of love.

Let’s back up a minute. A few months before leaving my marriage, I went for healing to help me make the transition out of my marriage and “break-up” of the family easier on everyone. Fully relaxed, I saw 3 images which made my reason for being in this soul-mate partnership very apparent. The first image was of a young girl crying out “Mum, don’t leave me!” My youngest daughter who was the same age came to mind. We are very connected and perhaps she already knew something was about to occur. The second image was that of an American woman Joni Earickson- who had a spinal injury and was a fabulous singer. In fact I used to play her “Christian” songs on the piano as I was growing up. It was apparent that what was being revealed was not about my youngest daughter. It was of my second daughter who I took on as my own and who had suffered a spinal injury in the same crash. The third image was the sound and words of one of Joni’s songs which I used to play. “It is well with my soul.”

My message was there! “Janelle, you were there in that soul-partnership to bring up those 3 girls you had taken on as your own, bring them into adulthood and it is now “well with their souls”. As I left my marriage, the third of those girls chose to leave home unexpectantly, but divinely lead I believe.

Lesson 4. We are in soul-partnerships for a certain amount of time and for a certain reason. Sometimes that reason is only revealed in hindsight.

So on leaving my marriage, I was humbled to my car, my 6 kids (3 at home still) and $1000. It was the year of the recession. Single womanhood was new to me and it lasted 6 years until I found my new soul mate (or might I add that I met one in between!) That’s another story…(so keep following!). But here’s the final lesson for today.

Lesson 5. Sometimes we have to have time on our own and do the “hard yards” for our new soul mate to come in Divine timing and for the Diving reason. Learning self love (unreliant on love from someone else) in the meantime is often the “soul calling” that you need to learn. A hard lesson, but an incredibly important one. More on that later in my next blog!

If you are single (or even in a partnership, and/or perhaps even wanting to leave) and these lessons have resonated with you today, my somebody beautiful coaching and/or retreat could be something for you – because the foundations of my work with you is self love, spiritual connection, soul nourishment, listening to your body and your gut and having passion in your life….all of the juicy stuff that can bring your soul partner to you! Check out www.somebodybeautiful.com and feel free to email me at janelle@janellefletcher.com for a complimentary 20 minute skype session to get you started.

Visit someBODY BEAUTIFUL’s profile on Pinterest.

Apr 08

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5 ways to be a happy and energised mum again!

By admin | health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

“When you become a mother, YOU go out the door!” is what I heard her say with her body looking a little exhausted and her eyes looking a little despairingly as she made this comment.

“Going out the door!” meant that she no longer has time for herself, she runs ragged after her children and possibly her husband, she juggles work and home life commitments and she’s possibly last in the “money-to-be spent-on-one’s-own-pleasures” queue.

Being a mother of many myself with my inbuilt wiring to care, this running around, rescuing and running ragged tendency often left me feeling shattered – often with a slight glassy edge to this feeling of exhaustion mixed with a pinch of envy and resentment. I also craved some validation or a would-be-welcomed “Hey, let’s do something for you!” sentiment from those around me.

This woman even mentioned that she hadn’t got anything for her birthday for some time apart from someone who spontaneously gave her something. My response was this.

WE teach people how to treat us. Stop blaming them!

Ouch! Yes, we are often the reason that we are not up the queue. If you feel like you “went out the door” when you became a mother, what have you been teaching your nearest and dearest about how to treat you? And are you not more gorgeous when you have passion and energy in your tank?

Here are some typical things we as mothers and lovers say and do.

We declare, “Oh, don’t worry about getting me a present! It’s OK!” when we would love the gift of our wildest dreams and be pampered till we felt heavenly.
We sign our kids up for yet another sport or activity – making sure we’ve scraped together the money, while we continue to have no interest of our own, nor pay for even the smallest indulgence we would love. What does that teach our nearest and dearest?
We watch hubby head off for Friday or Saturday night’s drinks with his mates and stay once again in the “roost” caring for the kids, dog or four walls. What would stop us asking for a “date night”?
We put intimacy aside for other exhausting, juggling and busy activities thinking they’re more urgent. Imagine what fire we’d have in our belly again if we felt truly and intimately loved and loving!
We eat the last piece of cake, if and only when there is some left. (Literally and figuratively I might add!)

So what are some ways we can piece ourselves back together as mothers to feel whole, happy, energised and feeling like we count?

Say “no” to one thing this week for someone else, and say “yes” to one thing for you.
Dress well for no special reason. It always makes us feel good. Today I’ve wandered around my little “farm” with my loveliest new dress on. In fact I purchased it from the shop where I met this woman who inspired this writing! In honour to you my darling!
Re-ignite an interest this week (let’s call it an A.D activity = After Delivery (babies!) – an activity or pleasure that has been extinguished for a while, or perhaps not enjoyed since B.C. (Before Children)
Wear your loveliest of perfume even when you go to bed. Nothing like feeling indulgent, pleasured, and less than bedraggled when you flop into bed. Sensual things make all the difference to our mood and energy!
Stop the blame game and know that YOU’re the piece in the puzzle that will piece YOU back together! Happy jig-sawing!

Feb 22

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How to stop wallowing in your weight / wait

By admin | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

Having struggled many years ago – in fact a good 11 years of my teenage and early adult life, I struggled with intense body loathing and self hate, not to mention a real wallowing in depression.

And over the years I learned that self love, self care and body wonderment (rather than wallowing in my body woes – which I could have done through my subsequent years of infertility, miscarriages, health challenges and tiredness from playing superwoman for too long!) are the keys to consistently feeling good about me and my body, and therefore getting the “results’ I want. eg. vibrancy, energy, intimacy, feel good about me feeling, getting ahead in my business…

But yesterday, and in fact all of last week, I caught myself in that long-gone, yet familiar feeling of wallowing – feeling quite futile in my efforts, tired physically, going back to some very long-gone random eating and drinking habits, and that general depressive feeling that was so familiar to me for years, but which I have managed to curtail for many thereafter.

This wallowing made me feel 10kg heavier and very unattractive suddenly, and I know this is a familiar feeling for many women (perhaps you!), yet it is far from the truth. Here’s what I asked myself?

Am I heavy / heavier? No.
Am I unattractive? No.
Is my sudden random eating about needing food? No.
What’s going on then?

I came to the realization it was about a consistent life pattern of mine of feeling like I have to wait forever for something. As a teen, I had to wait to finally find a boyfriend while everyone else seemed to have one. I had to wait to have a family. I had to wait for many years to become anything in business. I had to wait for some of my good ideas to finally come to fruition. I had to wait to get known for the good service I do offer women. I had to wait a long time after my divorce to finally meet my new gorgeous man. And yes he was worth waiting for!

So what I get is this.

When I am waiting, I tend to wallow in my weight – or at least feel like it. Astounding that overnight you can suddenly feel 10kg heavier when they truth is you’re not. It’s about seeing the truth, not the lie of the feeling.

Weight issues are not really about food or eating or the numbers on the scale. They are about issues of the soul and sometimes the soul requires us to go through “waiting” periods for the perfect outcome to occur. We need patience and we need to connect with our spirit as to what that’s all about!

If I am waiting for something, (business to take off, the new house to be found, the money to come into the bank…), then I am missing out on something now that could be a hang of a lot of fun, and potentially a useful experience or person that you need in your life. That happened to me the other night when I turned down an invitation because of my wallowing in my weight/wait.

Compassion for myself and commitment to self love is key. Not judging this recent experience. Not beating myself up for a few days of randomness and wallowing. Being vigilant about self-care, nurturing and doing things I enjoy now.

Trust in the perfection of Divine Timing. My “wait” is my logic telling me I need something now, and “what’s the hurry about anyway?” Divine Timing also gives me what I need, not necessarily what I want.

So I sit happily in my wait today…even when my computer crashed on me this morning…knowing that all is well.

Feb 08

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The 5 top diseases of modern women and how to heal them

By admin | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, spirituality, Uncategorized, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

I may be wrong in calling them diseases, especially in the sense of medical terminology, but here are what I consider the top diseases (as in not at ease!) of modern women.

1. Lack of self love

2. Poor body confidence and trust in their bodies

3. Forgetting their beautiful inner feminine gifts and instead, living what I call the “masculine way of being”

4. Soul malnourishment – in favour of filling up with an over-stressed, busy schedule

5. Spiritual disconnection

Again and again in my work with women dealing with eating, weight, fertility, miscarriage loss, relationship, intimacy and no-passion-in-life issues, these 5 diseases tend to underlie all of their woes.

Imagine instead of dieting, racing off for some more medication or “treatment”, starting yet another “soon to fail” exercise regime, finding yet another bloke on find someone or trying to resurrect a relationship by mentally working out what needs working on….there might just be another answer or way of being that will heal things from the core, not just band-aid the difficult situation.

Here are what have been my answers and what has helped a lot of women get through their health, body and life challenges and to refind their mojo. They also just happen to be the 5 foundations of my somebody beautiful way of living 12 week retreat programme and also what forms the basis of my one-on-one VIP coaching/healing programme. More to come on that at www.janellefletcher.com

1. Reigniting self love, self belief, self value and self care through your thoughts, words and actions.

2. Getting to the core of where you lost trust in your body and rediscovering your personal power to know what you and your body needs, and knowing that it is self-healing and self-revealing.

3. Learning to slow down, simplify, use your intuition and rediscover compassion, gentleness and a softly powerful way of relating to yourself, your body and all aspects of your life.

4. Soul Nourishment – this is about activities, people and pleasures that fill your soul, not just your diary! Learning to say yes to things that light you up, and no to things that kill your spirit.

5. Connecting within to your greatness – that could be with Spirit, God, your Higher self, someone in soul or what I call your “inner marvellousness”. It is with Spirit and in stillness that you will find your answers and experience the peace in yourself, in your body and in your life situation and things WILL begin to look brighter!

Nov 18

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Feeling shattered or struggling? 5 question to ask yourself to “fill up your glass” again

By admin | health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, self esteem & self confidence, spirituality, Written Articles | No Comments

I am noticing how many people around me lately are feeling shattered to the core, as if they’ve been rocked by “deep-to-the-soul” overwhelm and despair. To me, it’s not about the impending Christmas hustle and bustle. It’s not even about the end of year exams, busy business period or social commitments. It’s more about an internal struggle with themselves – knowing their path, but finding obstacle upon obstacle blocking their way, being committed to something and not having the means to do it and an overall feeling of physical, emotional and deeply spiritual shattered-ness. Faith is challenged. Finances may be tested. Family pressures are fueled and fiery reactions or depressive-tendencies rear their head. It’s like people are broken into too many fragments, to feel they will ever have a full glass of hope, peace, or resolution of their hardships or struggles some time soon.

So being one who is presently experiencing some of my own shattered-ness from being overstretched at the moment and having transitioned through many changes this year, I am asking myself these questions which I offer you also to help you “mend” and fill up your glass/tank again with re-newed energy, hope and some “movement”.

1. What does my soul need right now in this moment?

2. Who can I call upon for some help? – someone alive or someone who has passed.

3. What do I need to do to put my own needs first right now, rather that attending to others?

4. What is this struggle and shattered-ness teaching me?

5. Who am I grateful to for teaching me this?

Sit quietly with these questions. Whatever the answers are, take one action today. And in the words of something I saw today which encouraged me,

” Weep not for what is passing…Rejoice for what is coming”.

On that note, go out and encourage someone today who is feeling or looking somewhat shattered! They will appreciate you for helping them “top up their glass.”

Nov 10

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Hot secrets for you to reignite your inner sexy even if you are single or feel like you are

By admin | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

Has it been a while since you felt sexy, sassy and loving the lusciousness of an intimate relationship? Want your spark back, whether you are single or feel like you are in a bit of a drab relationship?

For many women, their fire has gone out and only the ashes remain following separation, divorce, death of their partner, a string of bad relationships, bad internet dating experiences or still finding themselves single. So how can we reignite our inner sexy, sensuality, and sassiness whether we have a loving partner or not and why should we even bother?

First let’s start with the why! We love it, we feel good, we feel hot, we love romance, we yearn for the closeness of good sex, we are sensual, touchy-feely people, the feel good hormones respond to some good loving, and we feel more alive. Great reasons! So now how about the how?

Sexiness is an outside job as well as an inside job. Don’t keep your best clothes, or your favourite perfume, for a special occasion. Why not wear your best dress to work or your favourite sexiest jeans to the dentist or your most colourful top and most gorgeous perfume to the school show? Ban black and wear more colour. Wear textures that feel and look good. Attend to your personal care and appearance. You don’t have to be donning over-the-top make-up or spend hours in front of the mirror, but why not attire and adorn yourself in things that make you feel gorgeously feminine? Stop hiding beneath your layers, and start emerging out of your cocoon into a more colourful you and a more colourful life!

Use your body. When we feel unsexy, our body shows it in the way we hold ourselves, move and groove. The “mind-set” way of thinking would have us mantra-ing “I am beautiful, sexy and all the rest”, but I’m afraid that doesn’t work for me on its own. When I experiment with the way I move, groove, dance, make love and all that good stuff, I know that emBODYing sexiness is the key. I don’t mean learning the latest Beyonce moves. I do mean “feeling sexiness” in my body by deliberately choosing stances, postures and movements that have me feeling hot! This also gets us out of that “frozen stuckness” (some would call it frigidity) in our body, which can happen when we simply don’t feel attractive.

Light more candles. I don’t know about you but candles make me feel hot. In my single days, I lit them every night making the mood in my house feel lighter and brighter. Make a tasty candle-lit meal with aromatic spices and invite someone round. Picnic more on the floor. Sleep next to the fire. For most of us women, we enjoy warmth. Find great textures to snuggle up with. Feel the sun on your skin. Enjoy a spa, sauna, massage or pleasurable pamper. No it doesn’t need to cost the earth. Invite a friend to give you a hand-rub or back massage in the comfort of your own home. Share the love!

Throw away some sexual taboos. Much of our beliefs have come from other influences like our parents, the school we went to, the church, our peers and others we have mixed with. Perhaps it’s time now to decide for yourself what is kosha or not when it comes to sexual and sensual things. Start having some conversations on topics once thought of as hush-hush. Give yourself permission to explore the unknown. Uncover your real inner secret desires and go for it. Why tie up your desires that can’t wait to be unleashed?

Sexual and intimacy experiences of past relationships need not be the same this time round. It would be easy to assume that future experiences of relationship, sex and love will be based on what has occurred in the past. Dangerous thinking! Every new person in your life is different and offer you different opportunities for your growth and learning, and theirs! It does however pay to recognise what worked and what didn’t work in the past, and what part you played in that. No blaming here! It is also worth noticing the patterns you have created when it comes to love, passion and intimacy – in other words what pushes your buttons – hot ones and not so hot ones. It takes courage to respond differently this time round…so grab some courage, take a “leap of faith” and make a commitment to having great sexual and intimate experiences beyond what you have experienced before by responding differently.

SEX – is not just about love-making. It is about Self EXpression. Don’t try and mould yourself into something you are not. Find your inner sexy – what turns you on creatively, what turns you on socially, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, politically, financially….and everything else –ly! When you Self Express yourself –showing your real juicy self, your world changes and suddenly you will find yourself with the person of your dreams, or rev up your current relationship, or ditch the old outworn one or find yourself quite contentedly doing life single-ly.