manifesting & abundance | Dynamic People Engager

Oct 28

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Are you nibbling the crumbs or having your cake and eating it?

By admin | health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, self esteem & self confidence, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

Are you nibbling the crumbs or ‘having your cake and eating it’ in life? How often do you accept less than what you can have on your plate – literally and figuratively?

Here are some examples of how nibbling the crumbs rather than cake-indulging may look in YOUR life!

Your kids, husband, family members or people you live with spend hours each week doing stuff they love. You slot “me time” in only after you have driven the others somewhere, attended their activity or done the housework!
You serve everyone at the table before yourself, buy something at the cafe for the others but don’t have anything yourself, you calorie count everything rather than giving your body the nourishment it needs, or you order the least expensive plate on the menu while others choose exactly what they want.
Money goes on the bills first, then on others and lastly on you. Others have new clothes, for example, and you are still wearing your stock-standard classics from years back.
Everyone else in the house has an interest or two. You don’t think it’s possible to head out mid-week to attend a class, have a social night out or pursue an interest or sport. After all who would look after everyone and how would you fit everything in?
You wait for ” Mr Right” or “Mrs Right” to come along and miss the opportunities of what “people in the meantime” might offer you. Or you settle for second, third or even 100th best in the “relationship” department.
You are waiting for something in the future to occur (eg kids leaving home, retirement, enough money, lotto win, better health…) before you “indulge” in some of your pleasures.
Think of your own examples…A clue here is thinking about the things you feel that you are “missing out on” (crumbs) while others have it all, or appear to! (the cake)

Here is some food for thought for us generous, giving, selfless, motherly, hard-working and often martyr-like women. Yes I too am often guilty of nibbling on crumbs!

Guilt creates ill-feeling – literally and figuratively. We don’t feel content, and we don’t get what we want. We also get ‘sick”. The predominant emotion of martyrdom is resentment. Both guilt and resentment eat away at our spirit and energy levels and we become not fun to be around!
Nourishing ourselves with good food and drink is important for our energy levels. Stop restricting, denying, overindulging, calorie counting or being excessive. Listen to your body’s cues for hunger, thirst, rest, sleep, sex, pleasure, creative urge…
Money is about flow. When we learn to spend money on ourselves and things we love, we naturally “light up” and attract all sorts of things, people and experiences into our lives. We become like a magnet.
Denying ourselves of pleasurable things, interests, experiences or avenues for creativity and self expression is like a slow death of our spirit.
Be Mrs (or Mr) Right for someone. This comes easily when your own pleasure needs are met because you are not waiting for the other person to make you happy. You are happy anyway!
You can’t go back in time, but you can determine how your time now and in the future is spent. Regrets are never positive. Instead of regrets, how about a good dose of selfish indulgence? (better labelled as self-giving indulgence.)
Doing everything for everybody but yourself is poor tithing! As my partner’s t-shirt reads, “I give 110% to everything. 100% to myself. 10% to others.” Perhaps this is more effective and happiness-making tithing!

“Let us eat cake.”

Oct 20

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Your “running away” or ending something may not be an act of cowardice

By admin | health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, Uncategorized, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

Running away from something or someone is not necessarily an act of cowardice. It may in fact be your greatest act of courage.

“My relationship finished and I ended up travelling to the other side of the world. My friends told me I was “running away”.

“I felt like my soul was dying in my marriage, so instead of going to counselling, I told him I was leaving.”

“I worked for 10 years towards creating some kind of success in my self-employment. I’ve tried all sorts of things, nothing really worked that well and I’m about to call it quits.”

I have given up hope in the medical system. I’ve decided I’m not going through with more invasive treatment for my cancer, and I know there’s something else out there better for me.”

“I’ve spent all this money on my training, but do you know what? It just doesn’t feel like me and I’ve decided to go do a different course.”

Any of these sound familiar? Something has come to an end and people’s reactions, and perhaps your own logical point of view, say that you’re running away – as if you have done something wrong, you have no “stickability” or that you are a downright failure!

A woman shared with me recently that her relationship ended and she decided to go travelling to the opposite side of the world. As she landed in this country, she stepped out of the plane and onto the tarmac. Her immediate reaction was she felt like she had “come home”. She had experienced the condemnation of well-meaning people back home that she was running from her recent split and that she was somehow abandoning her post-loss-and-grief “responsibilities” back home. My reaction to her comment when she arrived here feeling so “at home”, was that was she had indeed run towards her soul’s calling of “home” and that she would find what she needed here, not there!

When after numbers of years of marriage I had this internal soul-ache and in fact, soul-death feeling about my marriage, I honoured that ache, and left my husband. His attempts to “mend” the relationship issues by suggesting we go to counselling felt empty to me, for my soul was asking for healing and honouring of its calling, no matter how illogical and unreasonable it felt to break apart a family with six children and no matter how logical it felt to get some “tangible” help. It was in the healing once I had honoured that decision when I received very clear images of why I had been put in that marriage and why I had left. My role had been completed – having taken on my husband’s three children following the death of his first wife, having been visited by her in spirit asking me to “take her girls on as my own”, having birthed another three children together and with the older girls having become independent women. I was put in that marriage to bring those three oldest girls into adulthood following the death of their mum, more than be “partner” to my husband. (Mother rather than lover, I called it!) My subsequent grief from my broken marriage was healed by knowing I had done my role and I had done it well and to completion. The next part of my soul and ‘going solo’ journey was to begin a new chapter for me and the remaining three children (and the chance of a new lover, more than mother relationship!)

For those of you who have been through training or worked towards a career or self-employment path and feel like it’s coming or has come to an end – whether by choice or not – leaving it is not necessarily “running away”. It may well be the final straw that is required for you to really find your passion, a new niche or find a better means of contributing to the world and to make your mark. No “apprenticeship” is ever wasted. Your inner desire to leave is probably your important direction post!

For those of you who have been struggling with unwellness and feel there are other means of “treating” your health, this is not “running away.” It may be your body’s inherent wisdom and the calling of your soul to “venture towards” other alternative avenues – ones that will open up very different possibilities and opportunities to you.

Running away is not always cowardice. In my experience, such an act can be the most courageous feat you have ever done and such an act of honouring your internal calling rather than blindly following what the external world thinks you should do.

For those of you who have come to an end of something – be that friendships, family relationships, commitments to clubs or organisations, or whatever, ask yourself “is this a cowardice running away?” or is this a courageous running towards something for your greater good and that of others? I choose to focus on the second, because it helps relieve the grief that naturally occurs with stopping, ending, dying, relinquishing, transitioning, changing or leaving behind something or someone…and it helps me gain from the benefits of honouring that inner calling, whisper or shout that says “Run!” “It’s OK and you’ll be OK!”

Sep 22

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Is life too hectic? 5 ways to find your own rhythm in life

By admin | health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

A real party stopper is when someone asks you what you have done this week and your answer is “Not much!” Why is it that we measure our success on how busy we are, how much we get done and whether or how fast we are climbing our own “personal ladder of success”? Yet many people are feeling stressed, over-committed or exhausted, in need of a jolly good holiday and actually wishing they had less in their diary, rather than more. Our bodies too are taking the toll of constant, what I call “straight line pressure” rather than allowing some fluctuation and therefore balance in our lives.

There’s no incoming tide without an outgoing tide. There’s no new moon without a full moon. There’s no night without a day. We simply need to learn to find our natural rhythms again. Here are some tips for finding a rhythm that suits you. A masculine way of being is straight line stuff. Achieve, work hard, plan those goals and go headstrong to reach them. Work out a plan and commit to A + B = C. Put in the hours. Stick to your responsibilities and make sure you have something to tell someone when they ask “What have you been doing this week?”

A feminine (more in rhythm) way of being might look more like this.

Have an intention and ask for directions and signs to get you where you want to be. Listen to your intuition to guide you what to do, when to do it and how. It will also tell you “what not to do.” You will save a lot of time and energy this way.
Rest time (or “still time”) allows our creativity to flow better. 10 minutes away from “work” and responsibilities can save you hours. It also allows your body to rest and therefore resume better health and healing ability, not to mention more mental clarity and focus.
Ditch some responsibilities you have assumed because you either want to “busy up your life” or feel like you have to do them for some reason. Start saying “no” more often to stuff that actually doesn’t light your boat. Someone else will be in the wings to step up into that role.
Use the natural cycles of life to guide you when to act and when to rest. Your menstrual cycle is perfect with the first half being a very outward, energized, “get stuff done” focus versus the second half of your cycle being one that is more inward, reflective and more of a planning phase. Use winter to rest, recover, recuperate and put “fire into your belly” and use the warmer seasons to be out there doing your thing.
Spend more time “approving” of yourself versus trying to “prove yourself.” A lot of “busy-ness” is about proving yourself especially in the arena of work and family life, but if you come from a place of loving and accepting yourself as you are, you don’t need to be adding to your repertoire of “busy-ness” but will look for more ways of loving and being of service in simple ways.

Find the rhythm that pulsates within your soul.

Feeling at peace is a sure sign that you are riding the right rhythm for you.

Sep 08

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Are you superwoman doing WE time, more than ME time?

By admin | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

Imagine if having “me time” were the “cure-all” for your health, women’s issues, sanity, family life, relationships and even your career. In fact, the more I think about this notion, the more excited I am about that “cure-all” possibility!

The problem is many women struggle with taking “me time” because they consider it selfish, the kids or family needs are “more important”, they would feel embarrassed or uncomfortable saying that they had some time off rather than basking in the admiration of others for being “really busy,” or they are simply ingrained in the habit of prioritising work or “other jobs” before “a life”. Here are a few “me time” thoughts, which for me too are a new concept having played, and sometimes still do, superwoman doing WE time, more than ME time.

Our physical energy is being stretched more and more. “Me time” will re-energise you!
Resentment and regret are two key emotions that women feel when playing “super-woman”. We are not fun to be around when we are in these emotional states! And if we hide these emotions (which we often do!) this starts to show up in other ways. eg. relationship tension, family disharmony, depression, lack of creativity…
Intimacy within a partnership requires two people to “turn up”. “Me time” allows you to be more fully present and desiring such warmth, affection and sex, rather than running for cover to “catch your breath” on life.
We aren’t doing our kids (and others) a favour when we “spoil them” or “drop everything” and attend to their situation now as if it were an emergency. When we took on being a mother, lover or girl-Friday, we didn’t sign an agreement that says we forsake all! Sometimes we just simply have to say “no” and put a zip on our mouths!
We complain that others are “taking us for granted” or asking too much of us, or that we constantly feel tired or have no time for ourselves. We, in fact, teach others how to treat us. When we continue to put others’ needs first, that becomes the norm. Change this norm to honouring YOUR time and YOUR needs, as much as you do theirs. You will be a much better parent, lover, worker…
Selfish is not the same as self-giving. Self-giving honours everyone.
Women’s health issues come from not honouring the natural curves and fluctuations of our menstrual cycle, which teaches us there are times to be out there doing, creating, socialising or being active in a cause, versus the second part of our cycle which asks us to rest more, recover, re-breathe, re-vitalise, re-store, re-generate and be more emotional! Both can be “me time”, but they must be in balance.
Many women go on a retreat once a year or do the “odd pamper day with the girlfriends” now and then. This is not “me time.” “Me time”, needs to be a way of living, much like we learn in our someBODY BEAUTIFUL way of living retreat.

So today I take a leaf out of my partner’s book – a man who is teaching me to honour me, my needs and my time more fully. On his t-shirt it says this. “I give 110% everyday. 10% to others. 100% to myself.”

Which of the above points did you most like or relate to? Leave your valuable comment below.

Aug 31

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The beauty of “break-outs” & “melt-downs” in your body

By admin | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

Breaking out in rashes, pimples or other irritations, fire-ing up inside with menopausal symptoms, itching, diarrhoea-ing, redness, throbbing, vomiting…or perhaps having a melt-down with other explosive body symptoms? What is your body doing that screams “outbreak”, “I’ve had enough”, or “I don’t like this situation any longer”?

Most people are ingrained into the thinking that such physical “outbreaks” are bad and should be medicated, treated, covered up and generally not tolerated.

Yes these “symptoms”, as a doctor or health practitioner would describe them, can be fairly annoying. How about we see them as simply telling us a “story” and a reminder of what is no longer in balance in our lives and body, what situation is no longer satisfactory, or even what simply needs clearing – and therefore be grateful for that reminder and allow it to be.

* Outbreaks generally have an underlying emotion. What is that emotion when you sit quietly with what is occurring within your body? Anger? Annoyance? Betrayal? Discontentment? Lack of creativity? How can you positively use that emotion to change your situation?

* What is the story, or belief, you are telling yourself about the situation that springs to mind or the person who comes into your awareness? Perhaps that story is not the “truth” and you need to rewrite it.

* The beauty is that we can actually allow that situation, emotion, reaction to a person or “outbreak / melt-down” experience to be cleared through the natural functions of our body – breathing, perspiration, menstruation, elimination…and then be grateful for what toxic stuff our body is releasing and the new space it is creating for good things to come into our lives. Learn to also love menstruation, our cyclical nature and menopause because they naturally help us “burn off” what is no longer needed, and “grow” stuff we do desire.

* Begin to “soothe” your body with more soul-nourishing activities, people, occasions, body rituals, music, nature, movement, prayer, pampering… We often focus on what is “wrong” in our bodies, so begin the practice of noticing when that “outbreak” is calmed and what has created that quieter, happier and more contented space, and practice more of that!

And with today being the first day of spring in the Southern Hemisphere, may our bodies be “spring cleaned”, soothed and re-vitalised, and in the Northern Hemisphere, may there be a shedding of what is no longer needed or wanted.”

Aug 25

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Stop holding your breath for something “better” in your life

By admin | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

I’ll catch my breath, when I finally get that stuff sorted.” was what I heard the woman say. My response was how about she “breathe first, then the things will get sorted?” As woman, we are so busy charging around, madly busy, trying to sort out things in life, as if A + B = C. We try and work out a solution, a way, or something that will at least help us towards our desired state of happiness, health, relationship, family relations, work or whatever. We micro-manage, and in the meantime we literally forget to breathe and “smell the roses” and we miss our chance of life sign-posting us and making our life easier -sans le stress. (without the stress)

Holding our breath for something better down the track,

we miss or ignore the good things that are happening already. We let the already good things happening in our life pass us by. In fact we are blind to them. How about seeing your life, as it is today, as “good” (or perhaps even great) already?
keeps us “doing stuff on our own” as if we alone can change the world and “control” our situation. The reality is when we still ourselves and breathe and follow the lead of signs and synchronicities, our “stuff” is managed effectively for us! We are also not alone, when we let the stillness of our soul lead us. We are accompanied in life!
we set ourselves up for un-wellness. When we do not breathe well, we get headaches, lethargy, panic, stress symptoms and loads of other maladies. Breathing well from a still, quiet space could, I believe, create healing miracles in your health – not just because of the physical benefits, but because of the soul/spiritual benefits.
we deny our intuition to “flow”. Another word for “to breathe” is to inspire – literally and figuratively. Our intuition is literally inspiration for how to live life very easily, almost without effort. If we followed this, versus the bending and manouvering of our mind, we would already be in a far “better” situation in our life without the need to worry.
stops us from realising how amazing we are already and I like the words of Sylvia Plath from the Bell Jar – “I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.”

Living a full-breathed, intuitive, inspired life can make your life “great” now. Start consciously breathing again. Take time each day to be still. Let peace be in your life, from the inspiration of breath. www.janellefletcher.com

Aug 10

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You are not forgotten, even when you feel unnoticed or insignificant

By janellefletcher | health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

Ever feel that people don’t notice what a a great woman, mother, wife, partner, daughter, worker, …you are? Ever since I was a child, and even before I knew where Africa was, my heart wanted to go to Africa to be with the orphans. Later I sponsored a young girl, and wrote regularly to her in Uganda. I was never sure what called me in this way, but I realise now it about the “forgotten” child – one who feels left, who feels abandoned, who feels insignificant, who feels perhaps worthless and perhaps even feels invisible.

Looking back on my life, invisibility has been one of my life themes. I excelled at many things, but probably as a means of trying to be noticed. I kept under the radar, not daring to leave the restraints of the rules of my very Christian parents. I became very independent at an early age, preferring also to see much of the world, and experience what the world offered me, on my own. I largely kept my “problems” to myself and found my own answers. . To the outside world I seemed happy and I was accoladed with prizes for various things. I was in a caring family who noticed and served others. People saw me as a confident, daring young woman. but in my inner self I felt lost, abandoned, different and often invisible.

Just last week I noticed a street sign promoting the Watoto (Ugandan) village choir, so I could not help but go. I cried, I cried and I cried some more at their stories of these orphans and the aloneness they felt, the experiences they had had, but now the joy in their eyes and the lightness and vitality in their dancing feet and bodies that jumped in the joy of feeling included, secure and protected and given opportunities at the village that had included them as their own. With loud gusto, they sang “I am not forgotten.” Listen to it!

It reminded me that my life story was false. My life theme was just a perspective that I chose to hang on to. It reminds me that when I choose the perspective of non-attachment to acknowledgement, accolade and inclusion, and I choose to see myself as visible, powerful, approachable, loveable, worthy, gifted and beauty-full, my life is good. I am not forgotten. I just forgot myself for awhile, and sometimes still do now and then!

Jun 22

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What the doctors don’t tell us about women’s health and body issues…

By janellefletcher | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

We have an amazing privilege to live in our bodies, and “giving ourselves over to the experts” may not provide the solutions to our woes. In my work with women, who have experienced difficulties with fertility, miscarriage loss, post-abortion healing, eating disorders and weight issues, body dissatisfaction, depression and intimate relationships, there are some things in common, which are often things that the medical fraternity may not have considered, discussed or ventured near. Also I know how addressing the underlying stuff, rather than applying the band-aid has made for huge, life-changing transformations for the women I have had the privilege of supporting. Try this on!

1. Many of our women’s health, body, weight and womanly issues are influenced by a loss, change, trauma, abuse or grief that occurred when we were developing through puberty or in critical times of change and transition in our development as women. Such “hard stuff” sits in our bodies and we often create a story about our bodies and ourselves from that situation – consciously or unconsciously. When we rewrite and heal that story, things change for us.

2. Our “secrets” are stored in our bodies. We need to reveal our secret, and let new healing energy flow into our bodies. Food, medication and whatever else we stuff into our body will only stuff down the secret and the emotions. This will create other “unwellness”. Find a caring, compassionate person to reveal your secret to and get the support you need.

3. Our own “knowingness” – a.k.a intuition – knows the best thing to do for our health and well-being issues. We know ourselves more than any other “expert” out there. When we truly get honest with ourselves, and stop the B.S, beating around the bush or half truths we give the “experts”, we really do know the causes and underlying factors of our “issues”. When we sit still and listen, we have the answers ourselves. This can save us lots of angst and loads of dollars!

4. Our body gives us very obvious cues. The problem is we don’t listen. Start listening to the cues of hunger, fullness, pain, illness, libido, wellness, stress, desire for exercise or requirement for rest, the desire to help others and the yearning to have “me time”, the desire for soul nourishment and creative fulfillment and the cue to stop sometimes. Medicating, mind-numbing substances and activities, certain treatments and procedures and diet regimes dull our natural, in-built and highly acute cues!

5. Our body, mind and soul are one… In my experience, connecting with our soul/spirit is the place to start for any of our body or health issues. Stillness is key. Letting go of control is also important. Watching for signs is useful. Reclaiming their femininity has also helped many of my clients resolve their womanly issues. Faith can move mountains, and a “possibilities way of being”, beyond what we have known in the past is possible, will lead a way for miracles to occur.

Want some help you apply these principles? Let me help you finally become the beautiful, empowered woman you are and reclaim your health and things you really want in your life. janelle@janellefletcher.com

Jun 08

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3 reasons why you shouldn’t give up and throw in the towel yet

By janellefletcher | health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, Written Articles | No Comments

Given up on what your soul is crying out for – like a peaceful family, a fabulous relationship, a service you wish to offer the world or a creative dream you may have? Feel like what you really want is NOT round the corner and is eons away? Feel like you have no more ooomph to wait another day for a door to finally open for you?

I remember clearly the years when I was alone and I was still hanging in there to find Mr Right again. I know very well the years I have put into my business with loads of closed doors and a few fleeting opportunities. I despaired for months sometimes about my kids and wondered what else I could do to make things better for them. I have cried out to God/Spirit many, many times (you can hear the angst in that!) in search for my place on this earth and for things I was asking for to finally arrive.

Following my darkest days of feeling alone in my life (when I was 14-24 and from 40-47) , I simply had to surrender into not doing it on my own, not trying to work out how I could “make it” and not trying to control the circumstances of my life and happiness. It was in those deep, soul-searching moments for my place in this world, that I formed a relationship with Spirit and started what I call “constant conversations”. So what do I mean by that?

It means when I need to make a decision, I ask Spirit and my special friends and family who have passed, to help give me the sign – a yes or a no, a red “wait” sign or go-ahead green light. When I am feeling alone, I ask for companionship. Sometimes that comes in the form of an unexpected phone call, a text from someone I haven’t heard from in a while, a “success story” and thank you from a client or a feeling of peace, when indeed I am alone with no-one else around. When I don’t know what my next step is, I ask for guidance and I simply watch what appears in my thoughts, in my gut, in my surroundings and in my day-to-day world and I follow that. I guess I can say I follow my life now (with a companion), rather than lead my life alone.

So why shouldn’t you give up?

1. You were purposefully put on this planet. Yep, one day we finally have to get that there is no-one else like us! We think others are out there doing the same things as us career wise for example, but no-one is like us! We think there is another “chick” out there who would better suit a particular man – but that chick may not be destined for him. The perfect person might be you! Even through the hard stuff – eg relationship hassles – perhaps we are the perfect ones to be learning what we are learning from them (and their “faults”!) and giving the other person exactly what they need to be learning at this time by living with us through our “good, bad and ugly”.

2. A miracle is often around the corner How many times before I finally met my new french man/lover did I see the signs – an interest in the French rugby team, french market, french music… but not the French man himself? I could have easily given up and settled for my ‘second best” options – which were in fact there! What I needed to do was decide I really deserved my heart’s total desire (not second best) and had to “give up” any ideas of a relationship with these others and wait! Once I had let the other “options” go, my soul mate appeared. Stop settling for second best, put your heart and soul’s desires firmly out there and be patient, watch for the signs and sit in the faith and the comfort (sometimes discomfort!) and see the best for you revealed. It’s about unwavering faith and deservedness my friends. And sometimes the miracle is in a different and even better package than we ever imagined which would not have occurred if we hadn’t waited.

3. Our dark days often light up more clearly what we really want When we rant and rave to the universe about what is causing us worry and despair, we often get clearer ideas and more focused on what we really DO want. Nothing like a good old rant and “clear-out”! Cry, shout, let it all out…in the solitude of your own company or in a constructive activity that helps you release those pent-up emotions. For me, it has been in those moments of intense emotion and outburst that I have become crystal clear! It is also when my answer or my desire has turned up on my plate!

May 04

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5 keys to breaking free from your cage of “not-good-enoughness”

By janellefletcher | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

Yes, people can “put us in a box” but often it is we (yes YOU and I !) that cage ourselves into that prison or cage called “not-good-enoughness.” If we hold the belief that says, “We need to be more…” or “We aren’t good enough to…” or “We could never have…”, that is our doing, not someone else’s. Let’s be responsible! We locked ourselves in that cage (or at least have moments of hanging out in there), and we have the keys to get ourselves out of there and experience life with new “wings” – a.k.a awesome relationships, working in a job that is our passion, feeling fit and fab in our bodies, enjoying hot sex and intimacy and/or feeling creative and successful.

So here are 5 of my own keys that got me out of my cage – some of them might even fit your lock! If they don’t, don’t flutter around in a frenzy. Instead sit still on your perch for a bit and let your inner knowing tell you what will help YOU fly in the way you were born to.

1. Remember what delighted you as a child and reignite that. From a very young age, I did not sit still. I tapped my feet. I loved to dance, and moving and grooving is “in my blood”. When I don’t dance, I feel stifled. I reignite this now by being fully expressed in my body – whether I am exercising, speaking, making love or simply hanging out. What you loved as a child, is intrinsically who you are, so start flying around in those passions again.

2. Remember what your dreams, visions and beliefs for the world were as a child and reignite those. I loved autobiographies of people who made a difference in the world – for those who healed, who served, who offered hope and who inspired others to find ways through their hardships and to step up. I had a natural inclination to be with people who felt different – disabled, old, fragile, poor, disheartened…. I dreamed of traveling and being with people from different cultures. I choose now to live my own autobiography inspiring women in their transformation – from a natural, feminine and spiritual perspective. I continue to travel and always will. What you have dreamed about, envisioned for the world and believed in, you are prepared for. “Be the change” as they say, but you can’t do that from a cage!

3. Find your own rhythm. There have been times in my life where i have been super-busy – sometimes out of what I thought was necessity, but much of it was to “prove” myself to either me or someone else that I was “good-enough”. Nothing wrong with having things in your life. But for me, slowing down and simplifying really feels more like me than when I wore the “superwoman” cape. Achieving loads of stuff in a short amount of time does not necessarily equal “you are good enough.” And remember, the most efficient flying often doesn’t happen by loads of flapping of your wings.

4. Flock together with others who believe wholeheartedly in you and who love you for who you are and who encourage you to be in your total awesomeness. Sometimes this means not allowing certain people to hang out in your flying space. Sometimes it means flocking with new groups of people. Sometimes it might mean migrating to a new house, new flat, new job or a new country even! My motto is, “If I feel light in this company, “flock” (=group of people), or location, I am in the right place.”

5. Good enough-ness is a choice. In any given moment we can choose the thoughts, words and actions that align with good-enoughness or not-good-enoughness with vastly different outcomes. eg. “I am big, fat and ugly and have nothing to wear out tonight. I can’t go out! This choice leaves us talking to our four walls, feeling sad, depressed, lonely and probably hitting the chocolate biscuit container. Versus,” I have clothes that really suit me, my body and my personality. I love that and I can’t wait to see what awaits tonight, who I meet, what I will do and what opportunities open up.” Yeehoooo Our choices in each moment lead to entirely different outcomes. Choose mindfully. But also “carry your body” in a way that embodies that choice.

So take action now. Let me and others know an example of how you have “caged yourself’ in in the past, and share one strategy that has helped you break free of that. Others will love your ideas and wisdom.