This week I felt my skin tighten, my hands go up in despair and my heart wrench again as I read an article from yet another “up and coming modern day woman” who is putting out a new online programme about getting shit done (GSD) and flagging the “emotional stuff”.
GSD is becoming a sought after disease in my eyes and it ignores the inherent nature of who we are in our feminine, and it also negates the positives of emotional expression, inner self worth and also the need or desire for a softer way of living life.
Ladies, from years of playing superwoman and becoming a burnt-out, unwell superwoman for a time, I now know we don’t always have to do, do, do. There is another way to feel successful without a tick-off list. And how many of us women cry for a rest or retreat but keep going – fighting the feminine who is crying out for more pleasure and less pain, more rest and less stress and more ease and less disease in our mind and in our spirit?
The feminine is “curves” – not just ploughing the straight lines of a field day in and day out, not just keeping the stiff upper lip while you are a blithering mess and not simply pleasing or appeasing others with your “brilliant efforts”, while ignoring your own self-care or natural ebb and flow of emotions.
And how about this?
- Imagine telling your teenage daughter when her relationship breaks up “Don’t worry darling, just get over it and get on with finding the next boyfriend” instead of allowing her to feel sad, pine and get the comfort and support she desires from you.
- It also doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that suppressed emotions don’t stay suppressed forever. Ignoring them, by getting on with life and ploughing on is not helpful. One day emotions will show their head in unwellness, in a massive tantrum, life crisis or some other guise.
- And GSD, I believe, is another from of escapism – much like being attached at the hip to your phone or social media posts. We lose sight of the real world, and we lose our connection and deeper intimacy with people we actually used to, or presently claim to care about because we are simply too busy GSD’ing.
- And what’s more is that GSD is a masculine way of measuring our success. We think we have to get stuff done, ticked off and accomplished in a time-frame and manner that warrants approval from yourself or others. The feminine in us knows, from a deep inner space, that self approval is the biggest measure of success whether we are doing loads, or doing nothing, whether we are looking our best or not, and whether we look like we “have it sorted” or whether we are fumbling around for awhile. And actually, why do we have to build an empire right here, right now when other things may be more important, more pressing or more up your alley in terms of what you actually value?
- And GSD – helps us block out the pain of change, grief or transition – where the actual gold is. How many women do you know who have had cancer, to then finally have the “aha” moment that there is more to life than business, GSD, success in the material world and being the next “biggest and brightest woman” offering the planet something. Sometimes, success is in the simple.
Food for thought ladies. Here’s to doing less, so we can have more.
Hey gorgeous, I would love you to send me what this post has sparked within you by sending me an email at janelle@janellefletcher.com or by posting a comment at the somebody beautiful facebook community.
And if you love this blog wisdom, why not share it with a friend using the social media links below?
And if you haven’t already, go to www.somebodybeautiful.com and get on my mailing list to update you with more goodness and help you flourish more in self-love, body-honouring and reviving your feminine spirit. There are also some great free resources on this website, upcoming events, coaching/healing options and updates on my up-coming book – Dancing in her own Full Moonlight – the ebb and flow of being fully woman. See you there!
Janelle Fletcher www.janellefletcher.com
Yesterday was Mother’s Day and as a mother of many (6 in fact!) I have a love-hate relationship with Mother’s Day. Some years I have gone in to the day with huge expectations and have come out feeling a little less than acknowledged or “pleasured”. Other days, like yesterday, I decided to drop the expectations and just make the most of taxi-driving to my son’s soccer game and then doing the pick-ups and drop-offs for my daughter and her friend. Not a great alternative to fine wining, dining, resting, coffee-ing or abandoning responsibilities that a mother secretly craves, but it was a conscious decision to enjoy the day no matter what and not rely on someone else to make it a good one.
So yes, my day ended out being a good one – in fact, a simple, yet pleasurable day enjoying my son finally getting a full game on the field and excelling – making me and himself proud, after weeks of spending half of the game on the bench. I had a nice (pre-game) walk with another mum and retold stories and recollections of women we knew who had been through some tragedies when it comes to being mum including loss of kids – in particular through accident, death and suicide, and we were reminded to be incredibly grateful for our kids who are still with us. And the afternoon, the pick-ups and drop-offs were far more pleasant than they could have been, and my son and I filled in time eating monstrous Movenpick ice-creams at the beach. Pleasant yes. Filled stomach, for sure!
But is was into the night when the “darkness” caught up with me – that is, my seething pain around my ex-husband not supporting the kids financially and the huge strain that is on me. It heightened my emotions around the fact that it’s ME, and not him that turns up for every occasion with the kids. It is me who feeds them, reminds them to do their homework, snuggles in bed with them, teaches them how to cook, shows them the way of the world…..He is an absent parent in more ways than one, and sometimes this makes my blood boil.
So I went to bed seething and I woke up feeling depressed, like an after-match hangover. And I stayed this way most of the day.
But what has this got to do with selling my jewellery? Well it’s a Taurus New Moon – a bit of a clean slate time and a reminder to let some of the past go. So this morning I ploughed through my jewellery box and found bits and pieces that my ex had given me or pieces that I had bought when I was grieving our separation, divorce and humble times…and I have decided to sell them, clear the energy and any of my “emotional umbilical cord” to that era of my past and the expectation that he support me in the way I feel I would love as a woman, mother to “our” kids and as sole parent to them now. I can hear my inner self saying, “For crying out loud. If you can’t send over money, at least tell me how grateful you are that I’m so flippin’ amazing!” but my self worth requires me not to rely on someone else for that or hang around wasting time with baited-breath for something different.
So diamonds, sapphires, garnets and silver…I loved you, I love you, but I allow you to go now as an act of cleaning my slate on this new moon and allowing new energies and emotions to rise within me and for new experiences to reveal themselves as the moon waxes once again. I am so pleased that life waxes and wanes and allows us to rejuvenate.
Hey gorgeous, I would love you to send me what this post has sparked within you by sending me an email at janelle@janellefletcher.com or by posting a comment at the somebody beautiful facebook community.
And if you love this blog wisdom, why not share it with a friend using the social media links below?
And if you haven’t already, go to www.somebodybeautiful.com and get on my mailing list to update you with more goodness and help you flourish more in self-love, body-honouring and reviving your feminine spirit. There are also some great free resources on this website, upcoming events, coaching/healing options and updates on my up-coming book – Dancing in her own Full Moonlight – the ebb and flow of being fully woman. See you there!
Janelle Fletcher www.janellefletcher.com
Last night I had a bonfire. It was to end my proverbial Tour of Duty of being dutiful wife and mother.
How did this come about?
Well a simple “domestic” got the fire ignited, but the fuel has been added for quite some time actually. In fact years of mothering and playing second fiddle.
So, here’s what happened. A couple of days during the school holidays where I got a welcome couple of days minus kids, I slackened on the “cleaning dishes” front – preferring to take it easy and put other things up the priority list that were important for ME to get ticked off.
Partner, God bless him, came home and had an almighty “spaz” (Do we still use this word?) and didn’t say it, but inferred that I (or perhaps my kids who left for their brief holiday) were lazy. Or that’s at least how I read/heard the situation. He proceeded to pour me a wine and make huge noises and grunts as he washed the dishes and wouldn’t allow me to do anything. A little passive-aggressive I felt. Well, that did it for me and I didn’t appreciate this sentiment like my “duties” hadn’t been properly completed and that I should be reprimanded. I knew full well my rationale behind leaving the dishes dirty on the bench and I loved abandoning my “responsibilities” for a short time of rebellion and well-needed rest.
Well this little tete-a-tete (yes my partner is french, and no, I don’t know how to put the little accent marks on these words!) was the fuel to get my fire of rage lit and started my final bid to end my many years of Tour of Duty on the wife and motherhood front. I love the feminine. I love serving others. I love doing those little things that make a difference for man and child. But I have more recently felt the tug of my heart saying “enough Janelle, enough!”. “Do something for you. Your 6 kids don’t always need you to always think of them first. They need to learn to do more stuff for themselves. And don’t keep being like your mum who was also dutiful wife, mother and probably lover who never considered her own needs first.”
So I did it. I gathered wood, I carried it to the outdoor fire and I lovingly and determinedly made the stand that it I have completed my final Tour of Duty and that I relinquish the habit/pattern/obsession/big heart that continues to have me serving others before myself.
- It is not with Duty that I do what I will do, but out of Desire.
- It is not for others’ approval that I will do things. I will put whatever calls me through my self-approval filter and know I am enough, OK and even loveable even when I appear a little “selfish” or slacken on “what needs done.”
- It is not with silenced grimace and growing resentment that I allow others to take advantage of my kindness and generosity in my personal and biz life. It is out of self-love that I now learn to say “no” to others and “yes” to more of me and have better boundaries.
And so the fire ignited and I smiled as I ended my Tour of Duty and started my Tour of Personal Desire. Do you want to join my tour?
Hey gorgeous, I would love you to send me what this post has sparked within you by sending me an email at janelle@janellefletcher.com or by posting a comment at the somebody beautiful facebook community.
And if you love this blog wisdom, why not share it with a friend using the social media links below?
And if you haven’t already, go to www.somebodybeautiful.com and get on my mailing list to update you with more goodness and help you flourish more in self-love, body-honouring and reviving your feminine spirit. There are also some great free resources on this website, upcoming events, coaching/healing options and updates on my up-coming book – Dancing in her own Full Moonlight – the ebb and flow of being fully woman. See you there!
Janelle Fletcher www.janellefletcher.com
This morning, I was prompted by a woman online to fully claim my name. So what did I take that to mean and what did that make me think of? The first memory that popped into my head was something that occurred several years ago, when one night I was molested.
Without going into the whole deal, this man said my name in such a sleazy, degrading and sexual way that I really felt disempowered when I introduced myself to others. Saying my name took me back to what happened. It took me back to the deep feelings of shame, hurt and anger within my body. It makes me cry with sadness as I type as I recall the fuller story of being betrayed by a friend who believed him over me.
Some years later I was on a Presenter’s course and we were asked to participate in a simple name exercise. I wept in the “remembering”. However I also took the opportunity right there in that moment to reclaim a more assertive, powerful, louder and more confident “tone” to my name when I spoke it out. I reclaimed the love of my mother when she birthed me and gave me that special name. I declared there and then that who I am is powerful, not powerless and I am a woman of courage, not a victim of circumstance. I also honoured my unsilencing and finding my voice by going to the police even though they disappointed me in their lack of follow-though and ability to take things further.
So what’s in your name(s) that you go by, and do you want to keep, change or give your name(s) new life and energy?
As part of my workshops with women, I have often done an introduction exercise where people write down all of the names they have been given or have assumed – family name, christian name, middle name, adopted name, married name, sexual names, belittling names, teacher’s pet names, names teachers, parents, the church or community have called them, nicknames, names they have overheard people saying about them, adjectives they have been described by, names of endearment, spiritual names, names spoken over them ( eg. “I wish you were never born”), names they have called themselves and their body by and whatever else springs into their awareness when they think about name-calling including the words, tone, volume, attitude and intent behind the name.
This becomes a very powerful opportunity to feel into what names they wish to ditch, and which ones they wish to assume or give energy to again. For some, having divorced, they now wish to assume a different surname that energetically feels uplifting or right for them. For others, they wish to ditch the degrading names they have called themselves or their body, and to start speaking out more body gratitude and body positive messages, not to mention more lovingly describe their body parts. They have released sexual names – whore, bitch, frigid….through body ritual and cleansing. They have created ceremony around their new assumed name.
What does this spark within you today? What is your intuitive voice sounding out for you to consider when it comes to names – for better and for worse? What names are denying you of being fully fabulous?
For me I thank the woman this morning who prompted this enquiry. I claimed the name “vibrant, courageous femme extraordinaire”. I also thank another woman who shared this picture – Your vibe attracts your tribe. This helped me feel into what my vibe and tribe is and I claim these as part of my name today.
I am real, vibrant, authentic, alive, natural, feminine, sensual, courageous, simple, graceful, elegant, open-hearted and shining my unique light, love and loveliness.
Wow, what an awesome name!
Hey gorgeous, I would love you to send me what this post has sparked within you by sending me an email at janelle@janellefletcher.com or by posting a comment at the somebody beautiful facebook community.
And if you love this blog wisdom, why not share it with a friend using the social media links below?
And if you haven’t already, go to www.somebodybeautiful.com and get on my mailing list to update you with more goodness and help you flourish more in self-love, body-honouring and reviving your feminine spirit. There are also some great free resources on this website, upcoming events, coaching/healing options and updates on my up-coming book – Dancing in her own Full Moonlight – the ebb and flow of being fully woman. See you there!
Janelle Fletcher www.janellefletcher.com
Where have all the flowers gone? A song from way-back just popped into my head as I wondered what muse would flow out of me today? In fact I don’t even know if I was a twinkling in my mum’s eye when that song came out, but I can certainly remember the melody. What springs forth from that little ditty (profound and political however!), came the question, “Where has all my female-ness gone?”
I ask myself, what brought that odd question on? Well, I’ve been doing this writing experience – in fact I’m smack back in the middle of it – and it’s called Re-Wilding. It’s really all about getting back the “wild”, the “fiery”, the “inappropriate” and “range of emotions” ME back again.
Because ladies, we have learned to tame ourselves. We want more pleasure, but we deny ourselves of it by distancing or distracting ourselves. We would love to vent what’s really hot and fiery inside, but we “behave ourselves” for fear of offending someone. We would love to be “given to”, have “me time” or indulge in some free time, but we think we have to act all super-man-ish doing everything ourselves and there’s no way we could enjoy some “frivolous” time having more fun.
It’s also much deeper than that. It’s what has lead us to feel misplaced in such a patriarchal world where we have lost ourselves, or can no longer find that deep, intuitive, impulsive, feeling, wild-woman healer within us. We listen to the media – I call it the external media – rather than our inner journalist for solutions to our day-to-day life and its myriad of challenges. We focus on work and getting ahead, versus serving and offering our inner gifts of presence, compassion and love for life. We fit things around a tight schedule, versus aligning with our monthly and seasonal rhythms, succumbing to the beat of someone else’s drum and not our own natural pace. We spend time within our home and work environment far more than in the natural elements. Our feelings of inadequacy are masked and “under-wraps” to keep up with the Jones’ family or to appear as good as Mrs Entrepreneur or another “amazing mum” when really we are feeling exhausted, under the weather and possibly quite soul-discontented.
The masculine and the patriarchy squashes us. The feminine expands us. The masculine tames us. The feminine tempts and teases us playfully. And the masculine freezes us. The feminine feels. She is feisty. She is honest. She is indulgent. She is receptive. She is wild. She loves to dance and have pleasures. She yearns to be unleashed.
So what have I personally noticed during this phase of Re-Wilding? I have learned that I often avoid the darkness, depths and the dive-down deep moments, in favour of hoping life can simply be easier and better without me doing anything, or preferring to “stay positive” with all of my self-help strategies. I have opted for staying relatively quiet and “good-girly” when it comes to my family dynamics even though I know I could change things by bravely speaking out even if they ostracized me further. I have tamed my movement, my sexuality and my vitality doing monotony, routine and stuff that kills my spirit, rather than makes my soul sing. I have allowed my creative spirit to be dampened and put on the back-burner by prioritizing others over myself. I have also largely been “in control” of my life (and people), but I am soooooo (and might I add an extra “o”) learning that I have no control over it/them really, and I would be better off surrendering and “letting go”. Ladies, we talk about that, but do we really do it?
So today I have no answers, no tips and no advice. For that really is the masculine.
I just however invite you, woman to woman, to share one of your “life stories” that is full of emotion and express that story somehow in poetry, song, on top of a mountain top, with a sage stick in hand, or even howling to the moon. The wild woman in you wants to become unharnessed, unsilenced and finally given permission to be less than “appropriate”.
If you love this blog wisdom, why not share it with a friend?
And how about also sharing your “story” here or at our somebody beautiful facebook community?
And if you haven’t already, go to www.somebodybeautiful.com and get on my mailing list to update you with more goodness and help you flourish more in self-love, body-honouring and reviving your feminine spirit. There are also some great free resources on this website, upcoming events, coaching/healing options and updates on my up-coming book – Dancing in her own Full Moonlight – the ebb and flow of being fully woman. See you there!
Janelle Fletcher
When women are racing around attending to everyone’s needs but their own, sometimes they lose sight of their soul purpose or the hunger pains of their soul, which are either screaming out loud, staying dormant in silent rage within their bodies or are such feint whispers that the woman doesn’t even know what’s going to feed her soul anymore. She has lost her “happy place”.
Speaking to a mum yesterday – a beautiful, capable woman of a young daughter who has been through numbers of hospital visits, chemo, lumbar punctures, radiation, casts and a long list of difficult things in her short four years of life – her mum’s words were “I’m not sure where I fit anymore.”
Our conversation headed in the direction of hubby receiving all of the praise for juggling work and such family testing times. But where does this capable woman “fit” and where does her identity lie, not to mention how does she feeling validated and know where her “place” is in the whole scheme of things. Put simply, I think her soul purpose may be hard for her to recognize, and her own needs have been put on the back burner.
Having had long years of being told how marvelous she was in her corporate job, no-one is banging their tambourine acknowledging what an incredible woman she is now. Her current experience is felt as “fitting outside” the norm of how people define success or feel validated. Sometimes it’s difficult to accept that your soul purpose is not necessarily in the corporate world. Your soul lessons may also not be in that arena – like this woman’s and my own experience, because I have also been down the path of intensive mothering of 6 kids, including one with special needs/abilities. And I know that there are other soul reasons for us to be doing what we are doing – day in and day out – humbly, patiently, sacrificing self and also often not being seen. It is not a mission cast upon everyone but perhaps it is not everyone’s soul purpose. And when we fight against our soul purpose, we can grow our seeds of discontentment into wilting flowers – and we end up feeling zapped, worthless and saying “What the hell?”
This feeling of “lost in space or feeling out of place” not only reveals itself in the trials of parenting kids with interesting needs. How about when our children fly from the nest and suddenly your role and identity diminishes and fades into a long lost memory and pining perhaps. It occurs when someone close to us dies. It happens when we leave the marriage or partnership. It occurs often as we ebb and flow through our womanly life fluctuations and curve-balls.
So how can we be more soul-content even when the world and people around us are not “praising us from the hilltops” or when when we feel like we’re in a foreign and perhaps “undesirable” land?
- Discover the freedom that this soul assignment is giving you. It is not all about constraints. Perhaps it is freedom from a strict 9-5 working schedule. Perhaps it is freedom in the type of people you are meeting. Perhaps it is the freedom of alone-time or a new area of learning.
- Learn the art of self-validation. It is only when we lose our expectation that others should love us, adorn us with thanks or even notice us in their own busyness and struggles in life, that we are set free. It is our unmet expectations that often disappoint us and lead us down the path of discontentment.
- Learn that feeding your own soul hungers is also important and is actually YOUR responsibility. If your soul’s longings are not being met, then you are to blame! Take some valuable time to actually re-listen to your soul crying out for what it needs and find a way to feed the need.
If you love this wisdom, why not share with a friend? And how about leaving a comment on how you find your “happy place.”
If you want more, head to www.somebodybeautiful.com and get on my mailing list to update you with more goodness and help you flourish more in self-love, body-honouring and reviving your feminine spirit. There are also some great free resources on this website.
We also have a somebody beautiful facebook community – a gorgeous place for gorgeous women to commune daily! Why not, come over and join us?
Reading an issue of MindFood yesterday (one of my Christmas pressies to self) I came across a title, “I don’t want to grow younger. I want to grow my beautiful.” I might add that I want to embrace,more than ever, my feminine after years of being far more “practical” in my attire, my work, my schedule and daily routine.
Nearing my 50th this year, life is pretty good, exciting and pretty pleasurable. And I am feeling good about me and my body. Yes it is aging somewhat – or should I simply call it chaging (a.k.a changing)? And yes there is loads on the market to have me looking ever-so-slightly less wrinkled or less”saggy”, but inevitably the age counter is always counting.
But despite that, we can look, feel and grow more beautiful – not just visibly from the outside, but allowing what’s inside to shine. In fact, I believe there is nothing more alluring, magnetic, charming and irresistible when we shine our feminine and when we allow our soul to sing. Graceful Aging, I call it. So what can have us radiating extraordinary beauty as we get older? Let’s talk about 3 S’s today.
A Stillness practice There are countless studies about the effect of stress, negative thinking and the cumulative effect of a busy lifestyle on our cells that are aging, so it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that when we reduce the amount of stress, and increase our stillness practices that our cells stay more “youthful” and vibrant. Serenity also shows itself in our appearance. That slower, calmer, more relaxed look is definitely more “youthful” than an agitated, angry or stressed disposition.
Embracing your Sexual and Sensual nature No, this is not just about having more sex – the act, because quite frankly, that is not always on tap, nor sometimes desirable for whatever reason. Saying that, research does tell us that fabulous love-making (or self-exploration a.k.a masturbation) is natural “make-up” giving your skin a great glow among other benefits. I would however also like to refocus the word SEX to that of Self EXpression – conscious moving, posturing, breathing, dancing, creating, using your voice and titillating your senses with gorgeous smells, sights, textures, sensations and sounds. When we are “lit up” at that very sacred, sacral, sexual and sensual level, we vibrate beauty that is beyond just our outer appearance and our age.
Soul Food So much is focussed these days on what food we should and shouldn’t be eating to keep us looking young, fit and fab! Yes there is some merit in eating nutritiously. But I believe our body knows what it needs and doesn’t need if we only listened to it. But equally, if not more importantly, we need to feed our soul cravings. What’s your soul crying out for? Is it demanding you give up your stressful job and start a project you are really passionate about? Is it asking for more music, dancing or creative outlets? It is saying “feed me” some more adventures? Is it asking you to ditch some people in your life who “age” you, and to seek companions who love seeing you lit up and who keep you feeling young at heart? Don’t just attend to what goes in your belly. Start feeding your soul.
A soul that sings and a smile on your face is the language of beauty.
If you love this wisdom, why not share with a friend? And how about leaving a comment on what you are going to do to look, feel and grow more beautiful?
If you want more, head to www.somebodybeautiful.com and get on my mailing list to update you with more goodness and help you flourish more in self-love, body-honouring and reviving your feminine spirit. There are also some great free resources on this website.
We also have a somebody beautiful facebook community – a gorgeous place for gorgeous women to commune daily! Why not, come over and join us?
As you know I’m all about learning the art of Ultimate Self Care and helping others do the same.
Why? Because I was super-woman for many years and got burnt-out, dried up and lost a lot of my mojo. I also have no doubt that playing superwoman for far too long has aged me somewhat. Perhaps more wrinkles (worry lines) that I may not have had. Some angst in the stomach from too much worrying about everyone, while I ignored my own needs. And the breast-lump (benign), that becomes more prominent when I menstruate, reminds me of the many years of “feeding others’ needs and letting them “milk me dry”. I am thankful this lump stays there to remind me regularly (cyclically) to take care of my own needs and to quench my own thirst. (In other words, feed my own soul needs)
So why have I asked this question? Can self-care stop you aging?
My favourite women’s health expert is Christiane Northrup and I just watched one of her videos. (see below) This woman has some great wisdom about aging gracefully. In fact, aging seems a bit of a fallacy really that we “buy into” because we think “something RUNS in our family”, or because society, the medical system and the media tells us what our menopausal symptoms will be like and what to expect, what will happen to our bones during “the change” or what will happen to our mind as we chronologically get a “bigger number” to put in the “your age” box.
“It is our belief system that “runs” in our family, not a disease.” Christiane Northrup
Wow I relate to this! Self care was not part of our family belief system. It was all about giving to others, doing unto others, and service and self-sacrifice. I learned this off my mother, God bless her! And yes, she would indeed think that God is honouring her for her sacrificial lamb tendencies.
Unfortunately this has aged her in terms of heart health. Loving others over loving herself. Caring for others, over caring for herself. An imbalance of the artery and vein, pumping out blood from the heart – giving -and pumping back into the heart – receiving! It is no wonder she now needs a pacemaker to “artificially balance that”. She also lived into the belief about heart health because her mother died of a sudden heart-attack in her early sixties. My mum has “had her affairs in order” since her early sixties. She made her funeral plan back then, my sister knows “where everything is” and she has not entertained a “heart/love” relationship with another man since my dad left her before she was 60. and she has a daily concoction of pills to keep her heart going. Yes, she is a great woman. But yes I am learning that I do not want this legacy of heart health to “run” in my family.
Christiane in her video below – Belief changes biology – has some great ideas on this and it all comes down to what we believe and I would like to add, what new “self-care” rituals we would now like to enjoy and pleasurably indulge in as 1. we age (numbers wise) but 2. as we become age-less in our mind-set and body-set.
Ageless Goddess Video Series – what you believe changes your biology – Christiane Northrup
And as I sit in stillness this morning and again ask myself what my SOUL NOURISHMENT needs are, here’s what self-care rituals are intuitively calling me this morning to help me be “age-less” and impact my biology – a.k.a state of health.
1. Heart medicine – not of the medical type, but things that stir my soul. Thanks Spirit, that today I have been considering what to do for my upcoming 50th birthday in September. Nothing would “stir” my soul more that to follow my philanthropic love. I have looked at a project in Mexico building a house for a poor family. This stirs my soul and makes me smile. Yes it is for others, but yes too, it makes my heart and soul sing. My ritual therefore will be sitting regularly and asking for support from the Universe to allow me to be part of this project.
2. Be more active in my body and in nature Lately I have noticed I am more inactive physically than I used to be. Not just that, but the nature of my activity has become more sedentary. I no longer go out dancing like I used to. I know longer walk as often. I sit behind my computer far more than ever. What is my soul asking of me today? Exercise and communing in nature. Random trips to the beach. Stop off at the forest. An hour in my garden.
3. Connect with Goddesses of Nature. Who intuitively springs to mind? Flora. Let’s google her! Here goes…”Flora is the Roman Goddess of flowering plants, especially those that bear fruit. Spring, of course, is her season, and She has elements of a Love-Goddess, with its attendant attributes of fertility, sex, and blossoming.” So yes, perfect. Flora medicine – flowers, love, sex….some great self-care remedies!
If you love this wisdom, why not share this with a friend?
If you want more, head to www.somebodybeautiful.com and get on my mailing list to update you with more goodness and help you flourish more in self-love, body-honouring and reviving your feminine spirit. There you will also find my great audio on creating a Soul Nourishment Menu.
We also have a somebody beautiful facebook community – a gorgeous place for gorgeous women to commune daily! Why not, come over and join us?
My youngest son turned 13 today. It’s my “birthing day” and his “birthday”. 2 great reasons to celebrate.
But it also brings to the fore some of my own “stuff” around mothering and being mothered.
Without going into too many grim details, here is a real and raw candid video that I made today about “Wow, I did it!” I finally connected with my mum and sister after years of distancing myself and in the case of my sister, complete avoidance It’s also about me, the self love and body confidence gal, taking some more leaves out of my own book when it comes to mothering myself and self care. Click out my story on this video. Mothering myself
So after watching that video, consider these two questions:
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What are your “mothering yourself” practices that are craving to be resurrected?
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And what womanly or motherly, daughterly or even sisterly (whether literal or figurative) connections do you want to revive for the sake of your wellness, sanity and ability to move on?
So here’s where it’s at for me.
1. Celebrate each of my kids birthdays as also my birthing days and give myself even more love and pleasure on those days. Today being my son’s birthday (and my birthing day) I even had a spa in the middle of my working day.
2. Be held more often and spend less time racing around, and more time in someone’s arms.
3. Spend more “girlie” time with my girlfriends. Laugh, drink wine and dancing sounds like fun!
4. Find out more about my mum and her “growing up” experiences.
5. Be kind to my body and rest more when I am menstruating. Honour that time to rest, rejuvenate and release.
- What are your “mothering yourself” practices that need to come out of hiding?
- And who are you going to connect with now on the “girlie” front and why?
How about you post your answers over at the somebody beautiful facebook community.