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self esteem & self confidence

Mar 07
0

A “Chocolat” moment and how a simple ribbon can open up our connection with others

By | body love & body image, health & well-being, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

This morning I had another “Chocolat” moment. You remember the movie “Chocolat” where the woman and her daughter arrive into the very conservative French town and she opens up a chocolaterie?  As she helps her “clients” choose their particular favourite chocolate morsel, she opens up the possibility for them to really share and heal what is going on in their lives – from loneliness, domestic violence, finding love and breaking out of religious conservatism, as examples.

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My “Chocolat” moment was this……smiling remembering my day yesterday working in our French cafe Pyrenees here in Auckland. As a part-time job alongside of my coaching/healing work, I love the opportunities that the cafe opens up for me to truly connect with people and to help them open up and feel listened to, supported, encouraged and inspired. Yesterday the simple act of a ribbon around a box of french “food delights” provided such opportunities.

1. A women arrives most days.  She always enters slowly, head down and with a very sad demeanour.  To date I have welcomed her with little response from her.  Yesterday I noticed a glimpse of a smile or “lightness” in her that I hadn’t noticed before. It gave me cause to remark to her about that and really ask her about her day.  With her coffee in hand and a croissant, which I wrapped in a simple white box with a ribbon on it, she told me she had been daily visiting a friend who has terminal cancer. I could sense her relief in being able to share this moment and it allowed me to really encourage and admire her in a brand new way, rather than see the “solemn” exterior which I had previously noticed in her.

2. A young man arrives and checks out the gateau section of the cafe rather nervously.  I described to him the beautiful rich and adorned chocolate and passion gateau – a small, shareable gift of food for someone. I could easily have rung up the purchase on the till and said my “Au revoir”. Instead I enquired further.  It was for his girlfriend to celebrate her birthday. When I suggested we “put a ribbon around the box” to make it look pretty – my comment being “girls love this kind of thing!”, he shrugged and said “Nah, she’ll be right!” – a great kiwi expression!  I intuitively decided to ribbon it up anyway. When I returned he beamed with pride and walked out with a skip in his step!

3. A mum and her daughter arrived – apparently the girl was having a “sick day”.  Perhaps sick, but perhaps also wanting to simply take a day off and “hang with mum”.   When they ordered, they were thinking about dashing away and eating on the run.  I suggested that they might just want to “chill” together on the cafe sofa and enjoy their time and food together.  Instead of simply putting their patisseries on a plate, I gift wrapped it up and delivered it to their table. The simple ribbon allowed an almost sacred moment for this mother and daughter to connect, in what I hope was a memorable moment.

My “ribbon lesson” or “Chocolat” reminder is that people love to feel special.  People love to connect and be heard.  People love to celebrate.   People love to chill and not be busy.  People love to be acknowledged and recognized for their kindness and compassion.  People love the opportunity to connect more intimately, but often need to be given the opportunity.  Like Juliette Binoche in Chocolat, I am not in the cafe to sell coffees. I am there to LOVE people.

 

Mar 03
0

How to feel at peace, when you are not feeling peaceful

By | health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

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Interesting kind of day today with not a lot of things going “right” and me noticeably feeling a little frustrated, annoyed and edgy. A client didn’t arrive.  I couldn’t gain access to my blog..  I managed to pick up bruised fruit and had to return it to the shop.  My son needed help with his homework while I was trying to get my own work down.  I was missing my partner and wanted him to be home early. And I have a whole load of other little examples, which left me feeling rather jaded.

So how do I stay feeling “peaceful” amidst these somewhat annoying “little” (yet feeling big) annoyances?  And of course, these go across the board to handling those much “larger” things. that crop up in life that leave us feeling anxious, restless and/or jaded.

Practice peace – consciously “breathe peace” (slow, steady, even in-breath and out-breath), “move peace” (slowly, graceful, elegant, smooth) and “posture peace”. (stand or lie in a more relaxed manner). Reduce any breathing patterns, movement or postural stances that feel stiff, starchy, stilted or stressed.

“Everything’s gonna be alright.” We need to learn to chill and ask ourselves, “Does it really matter?’  and we need to get beyond our judgement of what is good or bad, success or failure.  Another great question to ask when making a decision that is difficult, ask yourself, “Does this possible solution feel light or heavy?”  Go for things that make you feel light.

Always know that life isn’t a straight line, but rather is filled with ups and downs. Our so-called difficult moments and experiences are often the ones that change our lives for the better. Nothing lasts for ever – a sobering thought when you feel like it is heading downhill at a fast rate of knots.

Count your blessings.  Focus on what it going well and how you are blessed. When we look at our lives and situations, not as a test to be managed, but as an opportunity for spiritual growth, then we can sit more “peacefully”.  I also find enormous strength and peace by connecting to my Higher Source of peace – knowing that I am constantly supported, guided and resourced when I connect in this way.

Every emotion is a useful indicator. Anger often spurs us into action.  Annoyance often gets us clear on what we want or need. Stress is simply saying something is not in balance. Outbursts easily tell us what is not working or desired. Joy is often something that springs from living our passion. Emotions are great clues – guiding us into a more peace-full life.

Feb 24
0

Sometimes we have to cut our own leash to have the life we dream of!

By | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

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One thing I am passionate about and gutsy at (or so I’ve been told!) is expanding my own horizons and taking leaps of faith into the unknown.  Therefore I can’t help but help people unlock their own cage door and fly, or using this analogy, cut their own leash to live more freely, vibrantly and enjoying their life more.  By cage I mean things like a cage of un-confidence, body dissatisfaction, poor health and no energy, mundane job, creative hibernation, not really using your talents to their fullest or giving up on your real dreams, as examples. Not only that, but I love to help people see completely new possibilities out there they have not even imagined for themselves – healthier health, revved up relationships, juicier jobs, babies they desire, creative endeavours, adventure opportunities, fun family moments and new travel tales.

Sometimes however, like having a leash attached, we go around feeling dragged down, tolerating our “miserable” or “undesirable” situation and unable to enjoy the freedom to enjoy life the way we want to, or how we imagined it would be.

Key thing is, our leash doesn’t come from outside of ourselves which we would like to think it does (or blame!).  eg, working for a boss, job commitment required, better to have a partner than none at all type thinking, limiting beliefs, not enough money, family responsibilities, not enough experience……Yes all indeed factors, and yes possibly limiting, but not “unbreakable”.

5 key things today in my own learning about living a great “unleashed” life is this.

1.It takes balls to cut the leash yourself, but when you choose that, it’s empowering! Suddenly you feel like you are the “master of your destiny” rather than being lead to places you don’t want to go.

2. Much like a dog, follow your curiosity. (ie your heart) for it will show you the way.  Too often our mind gets in the way of unleashing our possibilities. Listen to the “bark” inside you which is trying to voice how it wants you to live your life.

3. You might cut the leash yourself, but you don’t have to go it alone. Dogs love to play with other dogs! There are so many resources out there to help you.  As someone famous said (so famous I can’t quite remember their name!), “It’s not a lack of resources out there, it’s a lack of resourcefulness.” Get resourceful, ask for the help you need and find fellow “dogs” who are also desiring a new playing field, and go have some fun sniffing around a few trees and playing ball together!!!

4. Don’t let fear be your master.  It doesn’t have to control you, and is based largely on your stories of the past or your worry for the future you haven’t even had yet.  What a waste of energy!!! A dog doesn’t worry about yesterday and it’s not concerned about tomorrow.  It just loves to be a dog, doing what dogs do best – playing, exploring and having fun!

5. Dogs hardly ever sit still.  Take some action today that will be the beginning steps of you “unleashing something different in you and your life.”

As someone who loves to bark (ie talk, encourage, share, motivate, inspire, sing, challenge……) I would also love to hear you bark and tell us about one little action you are taking, or have taken, that has liberated you in some area of your life. It could be just the enCOURAGEment that someone else needs to make a new courageous decision, or take new courageous action, that could radically change their lives.

Feb 15
0

Hiding out in your creative cave?

By | health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

Today I coined a new phrase “Creative hibernation” – you know that experience of hiding in your creative cave – having abandoned your creative pursuits, found yourself too busy to enjoy them, let your “everyday life” chores be up the priority list, or perhaps your inspiration has dried up and you haven’t had “refreshments” to spark you into action. Or perhaps you belittle what huge creative juices you actually have, thinking your cocktail glass is more than half empty.

Here’s my confession.  I have finally admitted to myself today that I haven’t been sharing my creative motivational mojo enough, nor in the arenas I know I can make a difference in, and putting up with “putting it off for another day until I get it perfect” type reasons. I claim now I am a fabulous connector, motivator and inspiration-generating gal. I love to write.  I have loads to speak about. I am creative in my programmes and events I create.  Time to get out there, me thinks!!!

In terms of my body (and energy medicine), my creative space is my womb…(not my head/brain!) .so now I am going to sit in stillness, connect with my creative juices and go to my creative room/womb and see where that directs me.

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Want some help to climb out?  Contact me either through my website www.janellefletcher.com or my someBODY BEAUTIFUL facebook community at https://www.facebook.com/pages/someBODY-BEAUTIFUL/229533747170561?ref=br_tf

Jan 29
0

Life changes that open the door to us loving our body and life more

By | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

Many of us don’t like the changes that occur in our body when life changes something.

ImageConsider the woman who loses a breast through mastectomy – not a body change she was counting on, yet for many this opens the doors to new avenues of people, social events, and health and nutrition choices they may not have been exposed to otherwise. The changes that occur in pregnancy – yes inevitable, but how comfortable is that for women when their body changes shape, form and weight to encompass a growing individual? Some women welcome that change, but would squirm at a 2kg weight gain due to holiday pleasure and indulgence. I think of one of my daughters who sustained a spinal injury at age 4 and is now 27, who has gone through many body changes and transitions as growing young women do, but with the added challenge of being in her chair and knowing full well what it is like to still go into the child’s section of a store to find trousers that fit her thin legs or little feet. Yet equally she “sports” a fabulous pair of biceps and triceps!  She is gorgeous. I have noticed, following viewing some recent holiday pics, that I am also “wearing” more wrinklesor what I like to call “wisdom lines”!  My joints are showing twinges of “aching and are also showing me that my body is changing. This is reigniting my desire for yoga and walking. How is it for women going through menopause to feel the fire of flushes and the ups and downs of those changes?  The end of child-bearing years however also can be a welcoming rite of passage into the wisdom of maturity and new opportunities that may open up because they may finally make time for themselves over and above family and/or spouse.  I was also inspired recently by the news of a woman I know who has a very high level spinal injury and who completed a 1000km trek in a hand-cycle culminating in reaching base camp of Mt. Everest.  The motivation for her to have “conquered” such a feat has sprung no doubt, only through her original accident and “body change” that has been given the opportunity to morph into an “extraordinary ability.” and this feat is something which she may not have aspired to if she had been living life in her body pre-accident.

When we begin to stop our judgement, angst, frustration, anger….or whatever … when life changes our perception and love for our body, and when we begin to see this simply as a transition allowing us to choose LOVE for ourselves and our body more fully……then we can actually be in a place of peace and calm. When we see change as an opening door of possibility, rather than a prison door closing us in, then we can also feel more comfortable in our skin as we transition.  Change doesn’t have to restrict us. Change, by the essence of the word itself, can mean growth, freedom and new opportunities.

Jan 23

Perfect as you are in all of your unique colour and glory

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Perfect as you are in all of your unique colour and glory

Have a POD – Point Of Difference, rather than trying to be yet another green pea, which is very boring and takes a lot of effort. Just be happy expressing the beautiful colourful pea you are. Each colour in its purest and unique form is needed to create the spectrum of light. So too it is with people. We need all sorts, with all of their colourful personalities, looks and capabilities to live, learn, grow and find harmony. You are perfect as you are and you would do others and yourself a disfavour to be different to who you REALLY are. How are you different and unique? How can you love that in you?

Jan 20
0

Soul nourishing with the right exercise, not the wrong exercise

By | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | One Comment

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Recently in my women’s group, we looked at our wants, desires and urges for 2014. We termed it Soul Nourishment and looked at activities, rituals, people, events, things…..that help nourish us and make us feel REALLY good, at peace, nourished, filled up – or I like to call it “fulfilled up”.  (PS. When we fulfill ourselves us with such soul nourishment, we don[‘t have to fill up with things from the fridge!)

We reminded ourselves that  life changes, our situation changes and our body’s, heart’s and soul’s needs change so we need to align and resonate and activate those urges. Sitting quietly and connecting with our Divine perspective, we asked our heart, body and soul what it wanted….and asked for specifics.

For me one was exercise – not unusual at all for me, but what was interesting, was that my body was asking for more regular exercise that makes me sweat. Yes I walk and have done so for some time, but not generally to the degree of a good hard sweat.   I immediately thought perhaps I was being asked to run – which actually doesn’t “rock my boat”, so I was surprised this morning when I got out my yoga DVD’s after a year of absence in my life, that I burst out in a hot sweat – which actually felt more like a hot, blissful flush and calmed me.  this is what I will now focus on and enjoy. Exercise does not need to be vigorous.  What is more important it to find what resonates and brings you the feelings and experiences that fill your soul.

In the past too, my body has wanted calming exercise walking the beaches. This time my soul was asking me to venture out in my walking to other places away from where I was beginning to feel bored, disconnected and unmotivated. I am committed now to finding new tracks, new pathways and new avenues to place my feet.

I feel the urge to exercise more often now with others as my exercise in the past year had been quite an isolated affair, which had its purpose, but kept me away from the intimacy and relationship with others. I will now call a friend more regularly to enjoy with me my “sweat-inducing”, “different landscapes”, “connecting-with-people” form of moving my body!

What else was on my Soul nourishment menu?  Language – more French….basking in the charm, ambience and french-speaking arena. More wholesome cooking – learning about, and using more ingredients I am unfamiliar with and cooking with my man more often – having it not just as a cooking and eating experience, but as a “relationship” developer too.  The continued “feel-good” factor of my charity contribution…..and many other things.

What will be on your Soul Nourishment menu this year?  Be in touch through my someBODY BEAUTIFUL community on facebook if you want some help with that or through my website www.janellefletcher.com .

Jan 06
0

Knowing how great we are opens the doors to a great 2014

By | body love & body image, manifesting & abundance, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

We cannot imagine great possibilities and manifest an abundance of things in bucket loads opening up in our lives (rather than teaspoonfuls that we often ask for!)  till we really have the image of ourselves that is one of GREATNESS, MARVELLOUSNESS, BEAUTY, DESERVINGNESS and a DIVINE PERSPECTIVE of who we are.  I call this Source Perspective, rather than Self Perspective that is often judgemental, critical and an un-abundant being-ness..  “Source” for you might mean your own divininity. It may mean God.  It might mean the perspective of a soul who has loved you who has passed.  It could even be your angel(s). It could be the essence of your soul speaking it’s truth.  The way to access this Source perspective is to be silent and listen. Yesterday with an extraordinary group of women, we did just this.  We sat is stillness and in silence.  We focussed and connected with our Source – for many this was someone special to them who had passed,  We played the fabulous version of “You are so beautiful” by Joe Cocker and we sat and received messages, words and images from our loved ones that reminded us of the greatness of who we are, the potential within us and the possibilities that are open to us in 2014.,  We were inevitably moved to tears by the profoundness of this experience in the knowing that we are being looked after in 2014.  It helped us access our soul desires for this year, not just make mind-based resolutions to work at!  It reminded us we are not alone in the journey of this year to come. Our access point to having a great year ahead is in our silent space and connection to our Source.  We need not worry, but instead be open to being lead to the places, activities and people that will further our growth, and us to them.

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Jan 01
1

Outrageous Possibilities rather than New Year’s resolutions

By | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, Written Articles | No Comments

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions.  Goals are also not really my thing either as often we give up half way through and then feel a failure.  Instead, at the beginning of each New Year and regularly throughout the year, I add to my OUTRAGEOUS POSSIBILITIES list.  To write this I sit quietly in a place that I love and feel comfortable in, listen to myself breathe, focus on my heart and ask out loud, “What outrageous possibilities are open to me this year?”
blue heartInstead of listening to my mind, I listen to whatever comes into my awareness.  Sometimes very tangible things arrive.  Sometimes, very random things arrive.  Sometimes little things pop in.  Other times seemingly impossible things come.  I judge nothing, but write everything.  Sometimes it is an activity, event or situation that I write down. Other times it is people, known or unknown who I might meet. It may also be a quality or value that I will focus on throughout the year.

These OUTRAGEOUS POSSIBILITIES become my focus for the year, not as a tick off box, but more as an observation post.   It is not about focussing on the “goal”, the prize or the outcome, it is about simply noticing what is attracted into my life.  It is not about judging it as good, bad, right, wrong or something else.  It is about knowing that when I come from this heart and soul space, rather than a goal-orientated mind/head space….that I feel nourished at a soul level, that I feel at peace no matter whether a “goal” has been accomplished or not, and feel reassured that life is perfect just as it is in what it is providing me and what I am offering life itself.[polldaddy poll=7683275]