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I was shocked this morning with a “bolt” out of the blue.  Namely an unusual reminder that at this time of the year, I seem to struggle in my soul.  It came from no-where, but then I remembered it’s September 1st tomorrow and whammo, it all came back.

Spring in New Zealand is supposed to be such a lovely entry point to growth, newness and reinventing yourself after a slower, more hibernating and reflective winter.   It’s a time when I should feel more energised, more creative and “rearing to go”. It is also my birthday at the start of Spring, so logic has it, it’s a time for all things new, a clean slate and a new plate on which to put some new life morsels, activities and biz pursuits to “go after” or indulge in.

But that it not what it feels like, nor has it felt like that for years at this time of the year.  It’s a time of the year that I have often been at my lowest, my most “lost” and my “leanest”.  Perhaps it’s astrology, but it doesn’t feel like that. Perhaps it’s some kind of “post-SAD” – Seasonal Affective Disorder – the Winter Blues or the likes, but it also doesn’t feel like that either.  It actually feels like it’s my soul tugging away to be heard and recognised and it also feels like my body and energy levels require some new “calibrating”.

So logically what do I notice about my Springs of the past.

• It’s when my favourite nana died.
• It’s when I’ve often been low in money for some reason.  I still haven’t worked out why.
• It’s when I returned from my difficult exchange student year in Germany and had to find my first job.
• It’s when I returned from my big O.E (travels) feeling somewhat disillusioned.
• It’s when I was at my lowest ebb many years ago and attempted to end my life.
• It’s when I was typically at my heaviest weight following a cold southern winter.
• It’s when I got married.   And it’s when I left my marriage.

In fact as I ponder these seemingly random events, it’s fascinating that they all have been within a 6 or 7 week time frame at the beginning of Spring.

So what do I take from this intuitive wake-up message today and the familiar “low” feeling I am experiencing as I write?

It tells me I am still feeling a little “off-beat” in my soul.  I reminds me that I have often run from pain and it catches up on me if that wound remains unhealed.  It also reminds me of the theme I have carried for many years of never really feeling like I have “found my place”.  It also reminds me to care for my body and my energy levels, over and above the demands of others in my personal and professional life.

Do I need to “fix” this and “boost myself up” to feel more buoyant and on top of things?  No, not really as that would not honour my seasonal highs that need lows, and lows that one day produce the highs.  It would also tell me that so-called “negative” emotions are bad, but in fact they are great signposts of what is and isn’t working and what my soul is really crying out for.  And it reminds me that my body is not a machine that requires everything to be the same.  It is in fact a fluctuating work of art.

But on that note, body rituals are what help me “ride” this familiar tide of soul struggle – helping me let go of things not needed, and to allow what is needed and desired enter into my life.  Here’s what I started with today and have planned for the week.

• A gorgeous body massage and reflexology this morning.  I came out feeling a million dollars.
• A mid-day rest to help my body recover from my recent cold and flu and to allow my body to detox and recover.
• My bi-yearly “boob and lube” – a.k.a  – breast check and cervical smear.  What a great time to be checking my womanly health.
• Allowing myself to “remember” and cry when the crying comes, and asking my body to release those memories and hurts through its natural functions.
• Re-writing my soul nourishment menu – not a food “plan”, but sitting and asking my soul what it really wants and needs to be fed right now and during the coming weeks – people, activities (or non-activity even!), rituals and other lovely nourishment.

When is your seasonal struggle?

What intuitively is that “struggle” telling you?

And what do you “know” within you  already, that will help get you through that “struggle” with more ease?

Need some help?  Janelle Fletcher  www.somebodybeautiful.com

What’s your “tragedy” in your life to date and how has that created some fabulous traction for you?

No, this is not about denying you of the grief that may have come about because of your marriage split, your long-lost lover leaving you, losing the baby you wanted, being in a passion-less job, having “wayward” teens to parent or any other difficult stuff you have experienced, or are indeed smack-bang-in-the middle-of-experiencing now.

Yes it’s shitty.  Yes it’s painful.  And yes there are huge things to adapt to when we go through tragedy, dramas, nightmares or simple heartaches.  Hindsight is a fabulous thing to see how new doors have opened for you out of that “shit”.   But I reckon, not just hind-sight, but fore-sight into the future with a new lens is also great to help you gain traction (and positive new direction) through the tragedy.

Here’s a new lens to consider looking through.  It comes in the form of a question.

How could this point of ‘TRAGEDY’

(a.k.a health issues, job loss, loss of baby, cancer scare, terminal illness, being jilted…(you’ll know your “tragedy”!)

be exactly the point of traction I need and deserve to head down a different and better path?  

Yes you thought your destination point was where you were heading.  And you thought that destination point was the right one for you, right now, with the right person in tow and the right motivation behind you.  But that’s turned to custard!

But alas.  Sometimes a different destination is actually the right place for you.  Sometimes the traction and resources you build as a consequence of that “tragedy” is the making of you, and not the breaking of you.

Take these people as an example.  Oprah came from very humble beginnings and background, and her strength of character and contribution to the world came out of the traction that came from her own personal “tragedies.”

Take the lady down the road who has cancer.  That scare has given her the “wake-up call” (a.k.a point of traction) that will have her living out her days doing stuff she loves and with people she wants to spend her life with, and she’ll leave the other stuff behind that is unimportant.  What a gift!

My own personal “tragedy” of infertility for many years was difficult.  But it lead me down the path of natural medicine, reconnecting with my body through charting my menstrual cycle and to people and places that lead me to the work I do now.  I also got the point of traction that allowed me to find my own path to conception and having my children. What a blessing my infertility was.

And hey you may be sitting there feeling stone broke because you’ve left your passion-less job and you are finally out there doing your best, trying to make ends meet while creating your new solopreneur business.  Your “NO-MONEY-TRAGEDY” may be the point of traction that soars your creative juices to get you and your biz moving in ways that you couldn’t imagine!  So here are a couple of useful personal mantras.

My breaking is my making.

My point of tragedy is my point of traction.

Look in hindsight at how that “tragedy” has helped you, but also look in fore-sight, not to prevent the loss and grief from overwhelming you, but as preparation and motivation to use this situation for good.

If this resonates and you are looking forward to a new direction in life after a difficult turning point/tragedy, then I would love to support you through my coaching and retreats.  Why not email me for a complimentary skype session and you’ll come away with some great ideas that are actionable and life-changing.  janelle@janellefletcher.com

And if you know of someone going through some heartaches, why not sure this post with them?

When we “keep a secret”, it sits within us. There are many things that can happen with this “secret”. We stuff it down with food or other substances. It weighs us down – figuratively but also sometimes literally. The secret can fester, ulcerate, spread, encapsulate, close off a body function and cause a lot of un-wellness and unhappiness within. It can also stop us in our tracks and life becomes yet another day that looks the same as yesterday. We remain stagnant, perhaps even feeling paralysed in our situation. We want to move forward. We want better things, but we are stuck. Nothing seems to change. Let’s consider this.
• What is endometriosis? Is it also an emotional scarring?
• What is infertility? Is it a closing-down of your sexuality when you have been hurt?
• What is anorexia? Is it hiding within your body and feeling insignificant?
• What is bulimia or overeating? Is it the stuffing down of pain or trauma?
• What is a tumour, cyst, growth? Is it a collection of pent-up angst, anger, betrayal….?
• What is miscarriage? Is there a sense of not deserving or a pattern of abandonment?
• What is sexual “frigidity”? Is it that we are frozen in the abuse of the past?
• What is a headache? Is it that we no longer want to face the “headaches” of the world?
• What is an infection, outbreak or melt down? Is it a secret festering within us?
• What is lack of confidence, courage or self-esteem? There is probably a secret underneath.

As women, we go through many changes, transitions, grief, trauma, losses and challenges in our lives. We have also been taught to put on our mask of confidence or “got it together-ness”, which sometimes means we don’t share our “secrets” or our vulnerability. The sharing of our secrets is not about becoming “victim” or reliving old stuff. It is sometimes not the “WHAT” of what happened, but the story we have made up about ourselves, our bodies, our life or our potential for better things. It is about letting go of the secret’s attachment, its tendrils, its roots, its spread…within our body and within our energetic field. Sharing the secret is about letting go, releasing, cleaning up, lightening up and living more freely in all aspects of our lives and finally allowing better and brighter experiences into our lives. Sit quietly and ask what your soul is telling you in terms of…
1. …what secret(s) to share. – No “secret” is too small or insignificant, too big or overpowering. This secret is often about a feeling of shame, humiliation, betrayal, abuse, trauma, bullying, disappointment, embarrassment…often related to our identity, our trust in ourselves and our bodies or in our sense of self-esteem, confidence and self-worth.
2. …where does the secret sit in your body?
3. …who to share it with. – This could be someone who is alive, or someone in soul.
4. …how? Sit intuitively and feel into the “HOW” you will share your secret.

Why don’t you write down all of your “secrets” that come into your awareness? Put them on individual pieces of paper and find a box to keep them in as a symbol of where you have kept them hiding to date. As you reveal or share each secret over the coming days, weeks, years…throw away or burn the paper and find a lovely ritual to unleash yourself from how that secret has had a hold on you.
Share your secret in a sacred way  Rituals are a lovely sacred way to share your secret and to allow healing. Here are a few examples particularly focused on sharing your secret through body rituals.
• Body exfoliation / scrub / all over pamper
• Gentle massage of a particular part of your body that feels “impacted”
• Images / drawings/words on your body then rubbing off the “old stuff”
• Breathe out the secret and breathe in new love
• Release the secret down the plughole of the shower as you cleanse your body
• Punching bag
• Strenuous exercise
• Swim in the ocean “washing” off the secret
• Singing the secret or shouting it off a mountain, rooftop or somewhere that is important
• Walk in nature leaving the “trail of the secret” behind
• Sit at someone’s grave and talk to them
• Throw away some clothes that represent the “old story” and replace them with new ones
• Write the secret in the sand and then watch the waves wash over it
• Detox – perhaps with juices, non-alcohol days…
• Sunbathe naked quietly revealing layers of pain, shame and vulnerability and soak in the “warm sun of love”
• Sit in stillness with a candle and then blow out the candle signifying the end of that secret or old story about yourself
• Dance out the secret
• Feminine flush – this is a ritual where you energetically cut the cords to people, events, relationships…and ask for there to be an energetic flushing out of your body through its natural means
• Use pads instead of tampons this month as you menstruate
• Enjoy the smell of incense or “smudging stick” to clear the air of the environment you wish to clear
• Create other body or sacred rituals of your own
Go well as you share your secret in your own sacred way. And remember I am here for you if you would like to “share” your secret and experience the cutting loose of its hold, so you can fly again! And why don’t you also contact me with some of your own wisdom and rituals about “sharing the secret” that we can on-pass to other women? Let’s support each other in our healing, health and happiness.  www.janellefletcher.com

The outside world – media, diet, beauty, gym, fashion and other industries tell us how to be “confident, sexy, successful, desirable…” They want us to “buy into” that negative stuff. But how often is the “outside world” actually telling us how amazing we and our bodies are, but we ignore, fob off or negate that message completely?  Here are 3 ways we actually rob ourselves of improved confidence, self-esteem and that “I feel powerful in my body” feeling.

1.  Someone pays us a compliment and we fob it off by refusing it, saying “no, that’s not true”, returning a similar compliment (which actually belittles what has been said to you!), or sidetracking and talking about where we bought the dress, got our hair cut or something else that sidesweeps how gorgeous or amazing YOU are.  Start hearing and accepting compliments with a simple “thank you”.

2.  We pay so much attention on our “goals” – be it goal weight, goal workout regime, goal “man or woman in our life”, goal dress size, goal achievement…which can often make us feel less successful, beautiful, sexy… if we “don’t achieve it”. Often our friends, family or others are encouraging us and praising us for the gradual steps we are taking…but we are deaf to that because only the “success of the goal” will be good enough.  Open your ears (and heart) to the gentle encouragement about your progress and efforts and breakthroughs along the way.

3.  We see “sickness” as bad.  I prefer to honour that an outward sign of “sickness” means something is not OK internally – be it over-doing things, not honouring what I value, unexpressed emotions, unforgiveness, poor nourishment….   I don’t see it as sickness, so much as my body getting rid of “stuff” it doesn’t need or reminding me of what it does need.  Start listening to your body’s external cues of “sickness” or health problems, to help you internally do the work you need to do.  When you sit still, listen and ask your body for some answers, it will provide them!.

Here are 3 great questions to ask yourself today.

1.  What compliment did I receive today?  Yes there will be something – whether said or unsaid, verbal or written, by someone else or yourself, or spoken through an intuitive message?

2.  What encouragement did I give myself today for steps and progress towards my goals?

3.  What is my body telling me today?

Be discerning and selective of what the “outside world” tells you.  Listen to the positive “voice” inside and out.