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women’s life changes and transitions

Feb 23
0

Your SOUL purpose & finding your “happy place” in the world

By | health & well-being, self esteem & self confidence, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

When women are racing around attending to everyone’s needs but their own, sometimes they lose sight of their soul purpose or the hunger pains of their soul, which are either screaming out loud, staying dormant in silent rage within their bodies or are such feint whispers that the woman doesn’t even know what’s going to feed her soul anymore.  She has lost her “happy place”.

Speaking to a mum yesterday – a beautiful, capable woman of a young daughter who has been through numbers of hospital visits, chemo, lumbar punctures, radiation, casts and a long list of difficult things in her short four years of life – her mum’s words were “I’m not sure where I fit anymore.”

Our conversation headed in the direction of hubby receiving all of the praise for juggling work and such family testing times.  But where does this capable woman “fit” and where does her identity lie, not to mention how does she feeling validated and know where her “place” is in the whole scheme of things.  Put simply, I think her soul purpose may be hard for her to recognize, and her own needs have been put on the back burner.

Having had long years of being told how marvelous she was in her corporate job, no-one is banging their tambourine acknowledging what an incredible woman she is now.   Her current experience is felt as “fitting outside” the norm of how people define success or feel validated.  Sometimes it’s difficult to accept that your soul purpose is not necessarily in the corporate world.  Your soul lessons may also not be in that arena – like this woman’s and my own experience,  because I have also been down the path of intensive mothering of 6 kids, including one with special needs/abilities.  And I know that there are other soul reasons for us to be doing what we are doing – day in and day out – humbly, patiently, sacrificing self and also often not being seen.  It is not a mission cast upon everyone but perhaps it is not everyone’s soul purpose.  And when we fight against our soul purpose, we can grow our seeds of discontentment into wilting flowers – and we end up feeling zapped, worthless and saying “What the hell?”

This feeling of “lost in space or feeling out of place” not only reveals itself in the trials of parenting kids with interesting needs.  How about when our children fly from the nest and suddenly your role and identity diminishes and fades into a long lost memory and pining perhaps.  It occurs when someone close to us dies.  It happens when we leave the marriage or partnership.  It occurs often as we ebb and flow through our womanly life fluctuations and curve-balls.

So how can we be more soul-content even when the world and people around us are not “praising us from the hilltops” or when when we feel like we’re in a foreign and perhaps “undesirable” land?

  1. Discover the freedom that this soul assignment is giving you. It is not all about constraints.  Perhaps it is freedom from a strict 9-5 working schedule.  Perhaps it is freedom in the type of people you are meeting. Perhaps it is the freedom of alone-time or a new area of learning.
  2. Learn the art of self-validation.  It is only when we lose our expectation that others should love us, adorn us with thanks or even notice us in their own busyness and struggles in life,  that we are set free.  It is our unmet expectations that often disappoint us and lead us down the path of discontentment.
  3. Learn that feeding your own soul hungers is also important and is actually YOUR responsibility.  If your soul’s longings are not being met, then you are to blame!  Take some valuable time to actually re-listen to your soul crying out for what it needs and find a way to feed the need.

If you love this wisdom, why not share with a friend?  And how about leaving a comment on how you find your “happy place.”

If you want more, head to www.somebodybeautiful.com and get on my mailing list to update you with more goodness and help you flourish more in self-love, body-honouring and reviving your feminine spirit.  There are also some great free resources on this website.

We also have a somebody beautiful facebook community – a gorgeous place for gorgeous women to commune daily!  Why not, come over and join us?

 

Jan 15
0

Can SELF CARE stop you aging? Yes! Here’s why.

By | body love & body image, health & well-being, self esteem & self confidence, spirituality, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

As you know I’m all about learning the art of Ultimate Self Care and helping others do the same.

Why?  Because I was super-woman for many years and got burnt-out, dried up and lost a lot of my mojo.  I also have no doubt that playing superwoman for far too long  has aged me somewhat. Perhaps more wrinkles (worry lines) that I may not have had.  Some angst in the stomach from too much worrying about everyone, while I ignored my own needs.  And the breast-lump (benign), that becomes more prominent when I menstruate, reminds me of the many years of “feeding others’ needs and letting them “milk me dry”.  I am thankful this lump stays there to remind me regularly (cyclically) to take care of my own needs and to quench my own thirst. (In other words, feed my own soul needs)

So why have I asked this question?  Can self-care stop you aging?

My favourite women’s health expert is Christiane Northrup and I just watched one of her videos. (see below) This woman has some great wisdom about aging gracefully. In fact, aging seems a bit of a fallacy really that we “buy into” because we think “something RUNS in our family”, or because society, the medical system and the media tells us what our menopausal symptoms will be like and what to expect, what will happen to our bones during “the change” or what will happen to our mind as we chronologically get a “bigger number” to put in the “your age” box.

“It is our belief system that “runs” in our family, not a disease.” Christiane Northrup

Christiane Northrup

Wow I relate to this!  Self care was not part of our family belief system.  It was all about giving to others, doing unto others, and service and self-sacrifice.  I learned this off my mother, God bless her!  And yes, she would indeed think that God is honouring her for her sacrificial lamb tendencies.

Unfortunately this has aged her in terms of heart health.  Loving others over loving herself.  Caring for others, over caring for herself.  An imbalance of the artery and vein, pumping out blood from the heart – giving -and pumping back into the heart – receiving!  It is no wonder she now needs a pacemaker to “artificially balance that”.  She also lived into the belief about heart health because her mother died of a sudden heart-attack in her early sixties.  My mum has “had her affairs in order” since her early sixties.  She made her funeral plan back then, my sister knows “where everything is” and she has not entertained a “heart/love” relationship with another man since my dad left her before she was 60.  and she has a daily concoction of pills to keep her heart going. Yes, she is a great woman.  But yes I am learning that I do not want this legacy of heart health to “run” in my family.

Christiane in her video below – Belief changes biology –  has some great ideas on this and it all comes down to what we believe and I would like to add, what new “self-care” rituals we would now like to enjoy and pleasurably indulge in as 1. we age (numbers wise) but 2. as we become age-less in our mind-set and body-set.

Goddesses never age -Christiane NorthrupAgeless Goddess Video Series – what you believe changes your biology – Christiane Northrup 

And as I sit in stillness this morning and again ask myself what my SOUL NOURISHMENT needs are, here’s what self-care rituals are intuitively calling me this morning to help me be “age-less” and impact my biology – a.k.a state of health.

1.  Heart medicine – not of the medical type, but things that stir my soul.  Thanks Spirit, that today I have been considering what to do for my upcoming 50th birthday in September.  Nothing would “stir” my soul more that to follow my philanthropic love.  I have looked at a project in Mexico building a house for a poor family. This stirs my soul and makes me smile.  Yes it is for others, but yes too, it makes my heart and soul sing. My ritual therefore will be sitting regularly and asking for support from the Universe to allow me to be part of this project.

2.  Be more active in my body and in nature  Lately I have noticed I am more inactive physically than I used to be.  Not just that, but the nature of my activity has become more sedentary.  I no longer go out dancing like I used to. I know longer walk as often.  I sit behind my computer far more than ever.  What is my soul asking of me today? Exercise and communing in nature.  Random trips to the beach.  Stop off at the forest.  An hour in my garden.

3.  Connect with Goddesses of Nature.  Who intuitively springs to mind?  Flora.  Let’s google her!  Here goes…”Flora is the Roman Goddess of flowering plants, especially those that bear fruit. Spring, of course, is her season, and She has elements of a Love-Goddess, with its attendant attributes of fertility, sex, and blossoming.”  So yes, perfect. Flora medicine – flowers, love, sex….some great self-care remedies!

If you love this wisdom, why not share this with a friend?

If you want more, head to www.somebodybeautiful.com and get on my mailing list to update you with more goodness and help you flourish more in self-love, body-honouring and reviving your feminine spirit.  There you will also find my great audio on creating a Soul Nourishment Menu.

We also have a somebody beautiful facebook community – a gorgeous place for gorgeous women to commune daily!  Why not, come over and join us?

Dec 06
0

The pain and joys of being mum

By | relationships, intimacy & sex, spirituality, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

Isn’t motherhood often difficult?  It brings us the deepest joys and often the deepest lows.  Some reflections in poetry today and the intense feelings that we can feel as mothers, especially when our children leave home or in split/blended/separated family dynamics.  I trust something resonates in you.

If something “calls you” in this writing and you “get it”, why not head to www.janellefletcher.com , enter your details and I will keep you posted in early 2016 about more writing/inspiration called The Write of Passage – a place where you can share your story, poetry, thoughts, reflections and also be updated on somebody beautiful events and a new free online self care series and a Divine Deva Ultimate Self care Experience.  Or why not also head over the the somebody beautiful facebook community where women love to share their fabulous, messy, joyful, painful lives and be real and raw?

The return

My son

My son

Oh how I have missed you

Having graciously let you

Go where YOU needed to go

And not where I wanted you to be

Safe in my heart

Under my wing

And in my embrace

Of Mother love

 

The pain

That you are now adult

And I have missed some years

Of you becoming that man

Having walked the rite of passage

Into such extraordinary

and sometimes difficult times

Of emerging manhood

 

My pain of

Womanhood
Being a mother

Simply wanting to make your way

Easier

Brighter

And with a softer landing

And to hold and rock you

So you feel secure

Is entwined somewhat with my own deep desire

To feel needed, wanted and respected

 

On your short return

I feel intense sadness

That I have missed those few years

And I notice it even more intensely

Than when you were absent from our home

Your return has rifted my heart

And reminded me of that pain

Of letting you sail

Into unknown waters

And reminded me

Of how powerless

I have felt

To be the mumma

I wanted me to be

Not what you needed me to be

 

But as I shed buckets of tears

Into my well this morning

Which has for some time now

Felt dry

I am filled more with more sustenance

Admiration

Pride

And

Motherly love

Of the way

You are becoming the man

You were destined to be

And the path you have walked

Which may not have been

The trail I planned for you

But one that has shown you the way

To who you are today

 

You have done well my son

Minus me

In the last three years

 

And my cup runneth over

With respect for myself too

For the foundations I set

The seeds I planted

The water of love I sprinkled

And the ever constant knowingness

Not an easy one

But an important one

That it is not a mother who determines

How a seed grows

As much as she would like to think this

 

The seed himself

Grows

With his own knowingness

Inside

 

 

Jul 27
0

Ultimate self-care – The importance of “mothering” yourself

By | body love & body image, health & well-being, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

My youngest son turned 13 today.  It’s my “birthing day” and his “birthday”.   2 great reasons to celebrate.

But it also brings to the fore some of my own “stuff” around mothering and being mothered.

Without going into too many grim details, here is a real and raw candid video that I made today about “Wow, I did it!”  I finally connected with my mum and sister after years of distancing myself and in the case of my sister, complete avoidance  It’s also about me, the self love and body confidence gal, taking some more leaves out of my own book when it comes to mothering myself and self care.   Click out my story on this video.  Mothering myself

So after watching that video, consider these two questions:

  • What are your “mothering yourself” practices that are craving to be resurrected? 

  • And what womanly or motherly, daughterly or even sisterly (whether literal or figurative) connections do you want to revive for the sake of your wellness, sanity and ability to move on?

So here’s where it’s at for me.

1.  Celebrate each of my kids birthdays as also my birthing days and give myself even more love and pleasure on those days.  Today being my son’s birthday (and my birthing day) I even had a spa in the middle of my working day.

2.  Be held more often and spend less time racing around, and more time in someone’s arms.

3.  Spend more “girlie” time with my girlfriends.   Laugh, drink wine and dancing sounds like fun!

4.  Find out more about my mum and her “growing up” experiences.

5.  Be kind to my body and rest more when I am menstruating. Honour that time to rest, rejuvenate and release.

  • What are your “mothering yourself” practices that need to come out of hiding?
  • And who are you going to connect with now on the “girlie” front and why?

How about you post your answers over at the somebody beautiful facebook community.

Jul 12
0

Strong independent women learning to “receive”

By | health & well-being, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

I saw this great facebook pic yesterday of a woman desperately wanting to have some “me time” and then she reminded herself that she was a capable, independent woman!

It made me think that many woman actually sabotage what they deeply desire by “trying to be strong”. The way I see it, they are denying themselves of the feminine art of receiving by fobbing off offers of help, attention, pamper and pleasure.  And the longer they teach others they are not up for “receiving”, the gifts start disappearing.

And to me, not practising the art of receiving is a sure way of keeping people distant, keeping deservedness down the priority list and of keeping a woman in exhausted super-woman mode trying to prove herself.  There is no fun in this, and it could potentially be seen as destructive and maybe even addictive behaviour that leads to unwellness and unhappiness.

So what about reframing the idea of receiving and deservedness in a new light? Here’s some languaging to consider.

Take time for yourself.  Get a massage.  Take a holiday.  Get a back-rub.  Take ten.  Get a moment in the sun.  Take a holiday.  Get pampered.  

Take and Get are often difficult words/verbs for an independent woman.  It all seems very selfish.  It all feels very unproductive.  It perhaps even feels as if these are trivial compared to “success-and-outcome-orientated” activities that one should be “doing, controlling, completing or aspiring to.”  (Very masculine way of operating, I might add!)

Why not replace the words “take” and “get” to “receive”? Much like a gift that you would love to have.  Much like an offer of love to yourself.   Much like a demonstration that you care about self care – knowing that you are even more “powerful” when you are in your richly pleasured, feminine, self-loving and receptive way of being.  (The feminine art of living!)

So here’s how it could sound!

  • I gladly receive time in the sun today during my lunch break, rather than spending time working in the office.
  • I happily receive the compliment about how talented or beautiful I am, rather than fobbing it off.
  • I gratefully receive time today to do something that pleasures me, not just time where I produce something.
  • I am delighted to receive a meal cooked for me by my kids, even when it may not be what I would cook!
  • I lusciously receive intimacy with my partner, rather than feeling I have to give and initiate all of the time.
  • I lovingly receive the door opened for me today or a seat given to me in the bus by a random stranger.

Try on that receiving is a great act of self-care and is not a sign of weakness,

but a sign of inner feminine strength and self-approval.

Jun 09
0

Body rituals that break the grief recycle of past hurts

By | body love & body image, health & well-being, relationships, intimacy & sex, self esteem & self confidence, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

A serious moment at Mop ChopBody rituals are powerful cleansers.  They can also be a deeply profound experience – moving your emotional state from something difficult to something with more ease, and  getting you out of “stuckness” in your past grief, loss, relationship crap, abuse, health problems or difficult situations and getting flow back in your life.

What reminded me of this and what are some rituals that can help?

Yesterday I got my period.  It was also my eldest son’s birthday – my firstborn child.  That was also the day I had to have a caesarian after a long awaited and hoped-for natural birth.

At the time I was “mother-earth” and having an emergency caesarian, I felt like a complete failure.  I refused pain relief and felt paralysed with pain for days.  With superwoman tendencies, I also bashed my body trying to recover too quickly.  I was tired.  I got mastitis that felt like it was going to kill me, but I ploughed on through.  That breast pain was unrelenting for months as well.

So today when it suddenly occurred to me that it was the anniversary of a happy event yesterday, but equally one that scarred me, I remembered how powerful body rituals are to help heal such wounds and such behavioural tendencies.

  • So today I am honouring my body and that experience 17 years ago by allowing my blood to flow freely without tampons.
  • I am allowing the emotions and memories of that time to be released in the way they need to.  I am allowing myself time simply to sit and cry.
  • It’s a day to say “no” to pushing myself hard, and simply allow myself to be with what arrives on my plate today, rather than attending to what is in my diary.
  • As part of my ritual I will also shower, exfoliate and gently massage my caesarian scar and be grateful for the safe arrival of my baby and the way my body has adapted and allowed me to do the many amazing things I have done since.
  • I choose to also dress nicely today – feeling pretty, feminine and soft.  That is what my body s asking of me.  It is also asking for slow and graceful movements,  not rushed and frantic ones.

I am reminded too that anniversaries often bring us such insights about past stuff.

So when you are feeling a certain something – perhaps sadness, tearfulness, low mood, depression or even lethargy, don’t always look to those factors that immediately surround you like what’s happening right now in your relationship, what you’re eating, what the weather’s like or how your job is going.  It could well be something of your past which is showing its cyclical nature and sometimes cyclical hold on you.  I have seen this again and again in my coaching and healing work with women who have suffered losses and grief of the past, and the grief appears to “recycle” itself in a timely manner – which can be yearly, monthly, seasonal or even a menstrual cycle pattern.  This “anniversary reminder” can give you an opportunity to let that “hold over you” go.

One way to stop that grief “recycle” or at least let something of it go, is to do body rituals.  Here are 6 great rituals that may help.

  1. Immerse yourself in the ocean, deep bath or spa pool.  Allow the water to cleanse and heal.  Dry off the “old”.
  2. Exfoliate from head to toe, being grateful for each and every body part and how your body is so amazing.
  3. Sit – feeling the sun  on your skin- doing nothing but being with your breath and the warmth and allowing any emotion, memory or ideas to float into your awareness.  Just be with what comes up.  Blow whatever you wish to away.
  4. Place your hand on a body part that hurts, was affected or is unwell.  Ask your body what it is telling you.  Act on whatever it is prompting you to do.
  5. Push pause today.  Stop running around.   Rest your body.
  6. Light a candle, remember an incident in your past that has pained you.  Thank it for what it has taught you and then blow the candle out.

If this resonates, why not consider some coaching and healing with me?  www.somebodybeautiful.com

 

 

 

 

 

May 28
0

What if my grief was my gold?

By | health & well-being, spirituality, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

Grief…We’re told to get over it, get through it, get to the end of it or to get a grip on it (or ourselves) should we veer off in uncontrollable crying, outbursts or other outpourings of overpowering emotions, thoughts and behaviours.

Same with depression.  Dull it, deny it or deaden it with medication.

But what if grief and depression were our nuggets of gold and the making of us,

rather than rubble and the breaking of us?

And what if the grief that comes from death, disability, divorce, abuse, infertility, miscarriages or any other changes in our lives…was actually a gift, nor a grievous mistake.

When we’re grieving, what’s really important in life suddenly becomes more crystal clear, when previously we may have sat in confusion or lack of clarity.   Regret, lost time, sadness and unfulfilled dreams make what we want, crave or would die for all the more obvious.  In fact, grief can re-ignite a lost spark within us and spur us on to live life how we would like it, not how we’ve been living it to date.

When we’re grieving, our emotional state is in overwhelm and exaggerated – not falsely or wrongly, but in authenticity of who we really are and what we are really feeling.  Is that not powerful when it comes to the possible potency of our creative juices?  Imagine the art, the music and creative gifts that have been, and will continue to be unwrapped in the state and grace of grief.

And in grief, who comes to comfort us?  It is in those early moments, we know who are true friends are and their qualities that make them special.  Surrounded by people who care in that initial time in grief is priceless. Surrounding ourselves more long-term after that initial period of grief where people rally around, is also a gift, because who we formerly associated with, may not be ideally who we would choose to travel the rest of our life with.

And what of the learning and growth that has come from journeying through grief?  What have we learned?  What has this experience opened us up to that we would never have experienced or dived into before?  What new interesting avenues has it taken us down?  What judgement have we learned to put aside?

And often the gift of grief is that it takes us beyond ourselves into a different realm of existence, a different realm of faith or a brand new relationship with something greater than ourselves, because we may feel un-resourced without that extra “force” within us. Our spiritual fortitude is tested.  Our inner strength and resourcefulness is given wings. And even in those moments of complete devastation, pain and agony, we dig deep within ourselves like never before.

The gold is in the grief.

 

 

 

 

 

 

May 22
0

10 reasons for women to get out of overwhelm, juggling and imbalance

By | body love & body image, health & well-being, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

Are you a woman who’s experiencing overwhelm, juggling, exhaustion and imbalance? Here’s 10 reasons for YOU to get out of stress, overwhelm and heartache and get YOUR spark back.

Why join the somebody beautiful movement of women?
1. Because you deserve to be up your priority list.
2. Because being busy “superwoman” is exhausting and often unfulfilling.
3. Because being a vibrant woman is highly attractive.
4. Because it’s no point or fun “doing it all on your own.”
5. Because hating your body is draining. In fact it’s downright painful and harmful.
6. Because going at someone’s speed or trying to be like them isn’t helpful.
7. Because holding onto old pain and secrets keeps you stuck, unwell and unhappy.
8. Because indulging in your real desires gives you energy.
9. Because self-love, body confidence and intimate love energises you to go out and love life.
10. Because you get back your sense of purpose and can make your difference in the world.

Which 3 of these 10 ideas resonate with you the most? Share on the somebody beautiful community facebook page.

Want some help to do that or know of women who could really do with a good dose of self-love and body confidence, putting themselves up the list, being less busy , less stressed and being happier and more “in love”?

Here are 3 free ways you can be part of the somebody beautiful movement.
1. Share this post with your women friends and family members today and invite them to head to www.somebodybeautiful.com  and put in their details to be in the draw to win a free somebody beautiful way of living retreat.  While you’re there, check out the success stories / praise from other women!
2. Join our somebody beautiful facebook community for free inspiration and support.
3. Email me  at janelle@janellefletcher.com to book a free 20 minute skype coaching session if you want some help to get your spark back! You will go away from this with a new idea, action step, tip or even answer to what’s up.

May 20
1

Brain fuzz, forgetfulness and the fabulousness of brain re-wiring at mid-life!

By | health & well-being, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

Are you a capable mid-life woman whose brain sometimes feels like fuzz?

Being in my late 40’s, still menstruating but feeling like I’m transitioning into some new territory, I was relieved the other day to read the wisdom of my favourite woman author, gynaecologist and energy medicine expert Christiane Northrup in her book the Wisdom of Menopause.

Put simply, in midlife, our brain goes “fuzz”.  We forget things.  We feel as if we have lost our mind sometimes.  And yes we undergo mid-life “rewiring”.  Phew, I know I’m not going crazy and it’s just part of the course!

our of order

But “part of the course” to what I ask?

Yes our brain gets rewired due to the changing hormonal climate and that contributes to that mind-fuzz and the emotional curves, outbreaks and anxiety we often feel with greater intensity when we in our late 40’s and early 50’s.  Do smashing glasses, high volume rants and growing impatience sound familiar?  It does for me, and it all feels so out of character!

But the great thing about this (and sometimes terrifying thing for some) is that this change is helping us transition from fitting society’s and family’s demands on us as a woman, to that of our soul’s demands and yearnings to finally tend to ourselves– away from the nurturing of others, to the nurturing of oneself!  Yes “me time” stuff!   But this rewiring is bigger than simply taking a little time out from life’s demands to spending time doing something for YOU.

From the words of Christiane,  “At midlife, the hormonal milieu that was present for only a few days each month during most of your reproductive years, the milieu that was designed to spur you on to re-examine your life just a little at a time, now gets stuck in the “on” position for weeks or months at a time.  We go from an alternating current of inner wisdom to a direct current that remains on all the time after menopause is complete. During menopause, our brains make the change from one way of being to the other.”

It’s a time when our intuition becomes key (because our mind isn’t working!!!) and also a time when a lot of “past” comes up – for better or worse to reexamine (great time to get some supportive coaching!) and we are literally being re-wired for something else – indeed some new territory and perhaps a new way of being.

So what is this new territory?

I like how she Christiane puts it.  “As a woman enters menopause, she steps out of the primarily child-bearing, care-taking role that was hormonally scripted for her life…Rather she become freer to choose where she will direct her creative energies, freer to “colour outside the lines”…Some women funnel this heightened energy into new businesses and new careers.  Some discover and cultivate artistic talents they never knew they had.  Some women note a surge in their sexual desire, to heights never before experienced in their lives.”

So worry about the brain-fuzz or what you have forgotten, or focus on this being a great time to mother yourself, expand your intuitive powers and redefine how you want to spend the next years of your life with more zing and purpose.  It will reveal itself with more clarity…not immediately, but as part of that journey.

May 10
0

With heartaches & pain, is acceptance or change easier?

By | body love & body image, health & well-being, manifesting & abundance, relationships, intimacy & sex, spirituality, women's life changes and transitions, Written Articles | No Comments

My partner, the other night, came out with something profound. “Sometimes it’s easier to change, than accept the situation.”

Referring to the situation where his wife left him suddenly for another man and the devastating pain he went through afterwards and the subsequent time and healing that has occurred and is still ocurring, he came out with this gem.

Being a Taurus, he’s a change-maker. He sees something that needs done or that needs “fixing” and he’s off like a bull at a gate. Being more of a doer, and less of a sentimental, “fall into a heap type” person, this profound revelation is very much him. For you it might not seem quite that easy, but I do think there’s some gold in here for all of us.

Somethings we cannot easily accept a situation, but we can take even the “incy-wincy” steps to change something and that very step may, in fact, be easier.  How about these examples.

You feel fat, and perhaps you are indeed a little on the “porky” side.

Not accepting that “fact” means you might stay in constant angst, keep up the self-belittling, be in pain, deny yourself of going out and doing what you want to do, exhaust your mental energy…(and the list goes on!) when in fact a small focus on change might be more productive and more satisfying.  A simple walk, a glass of nourishing smoothie rather than a piece of cake, a change in belief, a phone call with a mentor or a new yoga class that would fill your soul might be better.

Your man/partner/lover has just left you or you’re about to throw in the towel on a relationship.

Feeling and knowing your soul’s yearning for love, it might indeed by difficult to accept the fact that your partner has gone (and “done what he’s done!” I can hear you saying!) or to accept that despite the logistics or reasons for staying in the relationship, you know your soul is calling you to end it.  Difficult to accept?  Yes.  But change might in fact be easier.  That step of change might be, for you, surrounding yourself with some positive friends, upping your self-care and self love rituals, honouring the good, bad and uglies of the relationship and forgiving your self first and foremost for a part you may have played in the situation.  Initiating change starts with “I’, not “H” for him!

You have been through some body change or transition.  eg. mastectomy, losing your hair, disability, changing body function, menopausal changes, aging… For a women, her body is her temple, and for the temple to change, this can often feel like a sobering and very deep and even sacred scarring. Yes, by all means grieve for what has been.  Yes by all means, find new ways of loving and appreciating who you are and what you do have.  And yes, be in gratitude for the amazing way your body adapts to it its changing nature or function.  These are all steps of change in fact, which may one day allow gradual acceptance to shine through those difficult day moments of darkness.

The word change, intrinsically, holds the “charge” or energy of shift, movement, and a state of flux or even imbalance.  But maybe you’re afraid of change, and therefore just go into “accepting mode” or perhaps more aptly put “victim mode” or “I’ll lay the blame on someone or something else for the way my life looks”.  This acceptance of what has been an intolerable or perhaps a purely unpleasant situation without taking some proactive steps to climb out of “what was” to “what can be” can be damn difficult, debilitating or damaging to your spirit.

What are you choosing?  Acceptance or change?