\A comment at a party recently threw me! When a woman, knowing a little of my history, hinted that she knew I had six children, abruptly asked, “So did you make all of them?”, I recoiled into my seat with a somewhat stunned mullet look at my face. What a daft question! Yes I made 3 of them! And yes I was “gifted” three of them following the death of my then-husband’s wife (and birthmother to the girls) but so what? Does that lessen my impact on having been a 24/7 influence in the lives of all 6 of them over 21 years to date? Does it mean I did “less of a job” than a woman who has “made” them and perhaps even “birthed” them? Does this deny the acknowledgement of those of us women who compassionately devote our time to OUR kids. step kids, surrogate kids, foster kids, grandkids or whatever kids, whether born to us, made by us, adopted into our family or simply cared for as one of my/our own for whatever reason?
Today’s post is brief. I love and care for those of you who have transitioned into “motherhood” or “compassionate caring” whatever way you “slid” in there. You are such an important person in the life of your “kids”. I also honour those of you who have wanted children, but who may not have “made them” for some reason – for your pain and for your heartache…but who have also found other avenues of “mothering” others. To all of you men and women out there who have been a mother figure of sorts, hail to you! To those of you struggling with blended family living, may you get the support you need. To those grandparents out there, who thought they had passed the milestone of “parenting” and are now re-parenting their grandkids, I marvel at you. To those who have taken on the “kids” of others – through adoption, fostering or whatever, and dare I say, perhaps kids that were destined at a soul level for you, I see you, hear you and acknowledge you. Mothering, in my eyes, is the most profound privilege I have ever had, and perhaps ever will have. XX
