When we “keep a secret”, it sits within us. There are many things that can happen with this “secret”. We stuff it down with food or other substances. It weighs us down – figuratively but also sometimes literally. The secret can fester, ulcerate, spread, encapsulate, close off a body function and cause a lot of un-wellness and unhappiness within. It can also stop us in our tracks and life becomes yet another day that looks the same as yesterday. We remain stagnant, perhaps even feeling paralysed in our situation. We want to move forward. We want better things, but we are stuck. Nothing seems to change. Let’s consider this.
• What is endometriosis? Is it also an emotional scarring?
• What is infertility? Is it a closing-down of your sexuality when you have been hurt?
• What is anorexia? Is it hiding within your body and feeling insignificant?
• What is bulimia or overeating? Is it the stuffing down of pain or trauma?
• What is a tumour, cyst, growth? Is it a collection of pent-up angst, anger, betrayal….?
• What is miscarriage? Is there a sense of not deserving or a pattern of abandonment?
• What is sexual “frigidity”? Is it that we are frozen in the abuse of the past?
• What is a headache? Is it that we no longer want to face the “headaches” of the world?
• What is an infection, outbreak or melt down? Is it a secret festering within us?
• What is lack of confidence, courage or self-esteem? There is probably a secret underneath.
As women, we go through many changes, transitions, grief, trauma, losses and challenges in our lives. We have also been taught to put on our mask of confidence or “got it together-ness”, which sometimes means we don’t share our “secrets” or our vulnerability. The sharing of our secrets is not about becoming “victim” or reliving old stuff. It is sometimes not the “WHAT” of what happened, but the story we have made up about ourselves, our bodies, our life or our potential for better things. It is about letting go of the secret’s attachment, its tendrils, its roots, its spread…within our body and within our energetic field. Sharing the secret is about letting go, releasing, cleaning up, lightening up and living more freely in all aspects of our lives and finally allowing better and brighter experiences into our lives. Sit quietly and ask what your soul is telling you in terms of…
1. …what secret(s) to share. – No “secret” is too small or insignificant, too big or overpowering. This secret is often about a feeling of shame, humiliation, betrayal, abuse, trauma, bullying, disappointment, embarrassment…often related to our identity, our trust in ourselves and our bodies or in our sense of self-esteem, confidence and self-worth.
2. …where does the secret sit in your body?
3. …who to share it with. – This could be someone who is alive, or someone in soul.
4. …how? Sit intuitively and feel into the “HOW” you will share your secret.
Why don’t you write down all of your “secrets” that come into your awareness? Put them on individual pieces of paper and find a box to keep them in as a symbol of where you have kept them hiding to date. As you reveal or share each secret over the coming days, weeks, years…throw away or burn the paper and find a lovely ritual to unleash yourself from how that secret has had a hold on you.
Share your secret in a sacred way Rituals are a lovely sacred way to share your secret and to allow healing. Here are a few examples particularly focused on sharing your secret through body rituals.
• Body exfoliation / scrub / all over pamper
• Gentle massage of a particular part of your body that feels “impacted”
• Images / drawings/words on your body then rubbing off the “old stuff”
• Breathe out the secret and breathe in new love
• Release the secret down the plughole of the shower as you cleanse your body
• Punching bag
• Strenuous exercise
• Swim in the ocean “washing” off the secret
• Singing the secret or shouting it off a mountain, rooftop or somewhere that is important
• Walk in nature leaving the “trail of the secret” behind
• Sit at someone’s grave and talk to them
• Throw away some clothes that represent the “old story” and replace them with new ones
• Write the secret in the sand and then watch the waves wash over it
• Detox – perhaps with juices, non-alcohol days…
• Sunbathe naked quietly revealing layers of pain, shame and vulnerability and soak in the “warm sun of love”
• Sit in stillness with a candle and then blow out the candle signifying the end of that secret or old story about yourself
• Dance out the secret
• Feminine flush – this is a ritual where you energetically cut the cords to people, events, relationships…and ask for there to be an energetic flushing out of your body through its natural means
• Use pads instead of tampons this month as you menstruate
• Enjoy the smell of incense or “smudging stick” to clear the air of the environment you wish to clear
• Create other body or sacred rituals of your own
Go well as you share your secret in your own sacred way. And remember I am here for you if you would like to “share” your secret and experience the cutting loose of its hold, so you can fly again! And why don’t you also contact me with some of your own wisdom and rituals about “sharing the secret” that we can on-pass to other women? Let’s support each other in our healing, health and happiness. www.janellefletcher.com