A real party stopper is when someone asks you what you have done this week and your answer is “Not much!” Why is it that we measure our success on how busy we are, how much we get done and whether or how fast we are climbing our own “personal ladder of success”? Yet many people are feeling stressed, over-committed or exhausted, in need of a jolly good holiday and actually wishing they had less in their diary, rather than more. Our bodies too are taking the toll of constant, what I call “straight line pressure” rather than allowing some fluctuation and therefore balance in our lives.
There’s no incoming tide without an outgoing tide. There’s no new moon without a full moon. There’s no night without a day. We simply need to learn to find our natural rhythms again. Here are some tips for finding a rhythm that suits you. A masculine way of being is straight line stuff. Achieve, work hard, plan those goals and go headstrong to reach them. Work out a plan and commit to A + B = C. Put in the hours. Stick to your responsibilities and make sure you have something to tell someone when they ask “What have you been doing this week?”
A feminine (more in rhythm) way of being might look more like this.
- Have an intention and ask for directions and signs to get you where you want to be. Listen to your intuition to guide you what to do, when to do it and how. It will also tell you “what not to do.” You will save a lot of time and energy this way.
- Rest time (or “still time”) allows our creativity to flow better. 10 minutes away from “work” and responsibilities can save you hours. It also allows your body to rest and therefore resume better health and healing ability, not to mention more mental clarity and focus.
- Ditch some responsibilities you have assumed because you either want to “busy up your life” or feel like you have to do them for some reason. Start saying “no” more often to stuff that actually doesn’t light your boat. Someone else will be in the wings to step up into that role.
- Use the natural cycles of life to guide you when to act and when to rest. Your menstrual cycle is perfect with the first half being a very outward, energized, “get stuff done” focus versus the second half of your cycle being one that is more inward, reflective and more of a planning phase. Use winter to rest, recover, recuperate and put “fire into your belly” and use the warmer seasons to be out there doing your thing.
- Spend more time “approving” of yourself versus trying to “prove yourself.” A lot of “busy-ness” is about proving yourself especially in the arena of work and family life, but if you come from a place of loving and accepting yourself as you are, you don’t need to be adding to your repertoire of “busy-ness” but will look for more ways of loving and being of service in simple ways.
Find the rhythm that pulsates within your soul.
Feeling at peace is a sure sign that you are riding the right rhythm for you.