I saw this great facebook pic yesterday of a woman desperately wanting to have some “me time” and then she reminded herself that she was a capable, independent woman!
It made me think that many woman actually sabotage what they deeply desire by “trying to be strong”. The way I see it, they are denying themselves of the feminine art of receiving by fobbing off offers of help, attention, pamper and pleasure. And the longer they teach others they are not up for “receiving”, the gifts start disappearing.
And to me, not practising the art of receiving is a sure way of keeping people distant, keeping deservedness down the priority list and of keeping a woman in exhausted super-woman mode trying to prove herself. There is no fun in this, and it could potentially be seen as destructive and maybe even addictive behaviour that leads to unwellness and unhappiness.
So what about reframing the idea of receiving and deservedness in a new light? Here’s some languaging to consider.
Take time for yourself. Get a massage. Take a holiday. Get a back-rub. Take ten. Get a moment in the sun. Take a holiday. Get pampered.
Take and Get are often difficult words/verbs for an independent woman. It all seems very selfish. It all feels very unproductive. It perhaps even feels as if these are trivial compared to “success-and-outcome-orientated” activities that one should be “doing, controlling, completing or aspiring to.” (Very masculine way of operating, I might add!)
Why not replace the words “take” and “get” to “receive”? Much like a gift that you would love to have. Much like an offer of love to yourself. Much like a demonstration that you care about self care – knowing that you are even more “powerful” when you are in your richly pleasured, feminine, self-loving and receptive way of being. (The feminine art of living!)
So here’s how it could sound!
- I gladly receive time in the sun today during my lunch break, rather than spending time working in the office.
- I happily receive the compliment about how talented or beautiful I am, rather than fobbing it off.
- I gratefully receive time today to do something that pleasures me, not just time where I produce something.
- I am delighted to receive a meal cooked for me by my kids, even when it may not be what I would cook!
- I lusciously receive intimacy with my partner, rather than feeling I have to give and initiate all of the time.
- I lovingly receive the door opened for me today or a seat given to me in the bus by a random stranger.
Try on that receiving is a great act of self-care and is not a sign of weakness,
but a sign of inner feminine strength and self-approval.