Isn’t motherhood often difficult? It brings us the deepest joys and often the deepest lows. Some reflections in poetry today and the intense feelings that we can feel as mothers, especially when our children leave home or in split/blended/separated family dynamics. I trust something resonates in you.
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The return
My son
My son
Oh how I have missed you
Having graciously let you
Go where YOU needed to go
And not where I wanted you to be
Safe in my heart
Under my wing
And in my embrace
Of Mother love
The pain
That you are now adult
And I have missed some years
Of you becoming that man
Having walked the rite of passage
Into such extraordinary
and sometimes difficult times
Of emerging manhood
My pain of
Womanhood
Being a mother
Simply wanting to make your way
Easier
Brighter
And with a softer landing
And to hold and rock you
So you feel secure
Is entwined somewhat with my own deep desire
To feel needed, wanted and respected
On your short return
I feel intense sadness
That I have missed those few years
And I notice it even more intensely
Than when you were absent from our home
Your return has rifted my heart
And reminded me of that pain
Of letting you sail
Into unknown waters
And reminded me
Of how powerless
I have felt
To be the mumma
I wanted me to be
Not what you needed me to be
But as I shed buckets of tears
Into my well this morning
Which has for some time now
Felt dry
I am filled more with more sustenance
Admiration
Pride
And
Motherly love
Of the way
You are becoming the man
You were destined to be
And the path you have walked
Which may not have been
The trail I planned for you
But one that has shown you the way
To who you are today
You have done well my son
Minus me
In the last three years
And my cup runneth over
With respect for myself too
For the foundations I set
The seeds I planted
The water of love I sprinkled
And the ever constant knowingness
Not an easy one
But an important one
That it is not a mother who determines
How a seed grows
As much as she would like to think this
The seed himself
Grows
With his own knowingness
Inside